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a search for character.. seeking meaning of life.. losing naivete in the process..

Monday, May 31, 2004


End of May Days..


Wow.. the month has passed so fast that i have just found myself on the last day of may.. Great Singapore Sales has started.. and of coz, as a shopping fanatic.. i has left my footprints in many shopping malls already. At 10.50am on the day that the GSS started, i have already bought 2 bags from m)phonsis.. yes.. i know i shouldnt have, but i couldnt resist the temptation when it comes to bags.. and i know many people is going to scold me when they read my blog.. I have enough bags to last me for at least 4 months with a different bag each day.. but.. argh.. i have got to own it.. *grinz*

The interview at Angie's the other day was the LONGEST interview i ever went to in my entire life.. and i believe it would have been the longest for a lot of people out there too!! It lasted for exactly 2 hours.. My jaws were aching when i was out from the interview and it was really tiring.. having to work my brain cells dead at answering the questions that i was prompted with. i left the interview feeling fairly confident, greatly interested in the job and really anxious about the getting the job. Was told that i'll know the result by the end of the day but it turned out that the manager changed his mind and decided that he will let me know only when he's back from his leave.. Which means, i'll have another long wait before i know if im selected for the job.. he'll be back on the 10th june.. I'm keeping my fingers crossed till then..

I called Diners up to ask about the status of my application before the Angie's interview and was told that the job vacancy has been closed and i was not selected.. Aww.. i was disappointed.. but i guess it would be their loss!! *grinz* such a talent like me.. Hahaha..

Spent the weekend with wei as usual.. wanted to go to the open house at changi naval base.. but the weather and the queue at expo changed my mind instantly when i got there.. My.. it was SO LONG! Didnt want to spend hours waiting to get on the shuttle bus to the camp and decide to abandon the plan and headed towards.. yes.. the shopping malls!! haha.. spend spend spend.. eat eat eat.. that's what i basically did for the whole weekend!!



Watched this movie and i think it's nice. It was heart-wrenching and with a bit of humour, it kinda captured my mind and my soul for the 2+ hours. It's prob has got something to do with the little environmentally friendly side of me that caught me on so intently and i was totally amazed and impressed at the 2 kids that were seated beside me.. left me so in awe that i made a resolution to make sure that when i have kids, i'll teach them to be like them.. The boy and the girl that was seated next to me..estimated to 8 years old and 6 years old respectively.. and they were so silent during the entire movie!! stole a few glances at the cute boy in the midst of the movie and he was so intently looking at the screen.. and his sister is doing the same thing! Wow.. i must say i was really really impressed. Not a sound, not a utter.. not even when the sister stole the nachos chips from the boy's hands.. only a silent glare and then back to the movie.. Thanks kids, you made my day and enjoy the movie much more.. and i really really respected the father. He have taught them well..

This incident has reminded me of the really really bad experience that i had when i was watching Troy. The row of guys seated behind me.. I think they were malaysians.. about 5 of them.. talking loudly to each other throughout the whole movie. Imagine the voice volume when the guy of the extreme right was talking to the one of extreme left.. i was VERY sure that the whole cinema could hear their conversation and even though i stared at them for several times, they didnt stop talking loudly. I was so upsetted and disturbed by their conversation that i didnt enjoy the movie as much. Almost wanted to throw my shoe at them.. too bad i didnt have pop corns with me that day.. if not, it would all have landed on their faces.

It has also made me realised that Singaporeans are pretty considerate, with some occasional disturbance tho. I guess most of the times, its prob. accidental. Not sure how many out there have experienced this before.. try watching a movie in malaysia..(other than capital, KL) The whole cinema is filled with noises of cracking peanuts, munching chips and loud talking and yes, people walking around. I'm really glad that the cinemas here educate the people to be who we are today. I applaude them for all the kind reminders before the movie to make sure that everyone has switched the mobile to silent mode.. and i applaude the person who came up with this ingenious idea.

Oh shucks.. I'm hearing the birds chirping. It's 6+ in the morning.. I'm supposed to meet Jac at 11am for another round of sale sale sale and shop shop shop.. Got to grab some sleep and head towards dreamland with my orange doggy...

Wednesday, May 26, 2004


Interview again..


I have been called for another interview tomorrow. Had to work tomorrow actually and ended up asking michie for help.. for someone to replace me at work.. Thanks Michie.. I owe you one and also a BIG BIRTHDAY MEAL.. Hmmm, now that i think about it, we are NOW the same age.. *grinz*

I'm going for an interview with Angie the Choice tomorrow morning.. The guy over the phone asked me if i knew what company they are.. i told him "the cakemaker".. haha.. Well, i'm quite excited over the job, but i heard i got to work on SATURDAYS!! that's so depressing.. and it's in Sonoko again! i seemed to be closely associated with job vacancies in that area.. i guess they might have taken my address into the consideration while evaluating my resume. The consolations in working in that area is that it's quite near my house (cab fare cost me abt $5), i'm heading away from the main human traffic most of the time and there's absolutely nothing there for me to splurge my money on.. It's an industrial area.. I would think its quite boring.. but that also means that i'll be able to save a lot of money without seeing shopping malls!

I haven't heard from Diners Club as yet.. called them today but i think i called after the office hour.. Hmmm.. No one answered the phone.. I'm really keen in the job.. but as each day passes, my heart sinks further.. looks like there isnt much hope of me getting the job.. It's been 7 working days.. Sounds short, but its almost 2 weeks! Oh well.. like wei says.. There are better ones out there.. and i do hope Angie is gonna be MY CHOICE.

As for now, its the time of the day for me to send more resumes..

Friday, May 21, 2004


Home Alone..Again


Mum came back on tuesday afternoon and went back to rengam early this morning. Didnt have a chance to say goodbye coz she left really early, while i was still fighting the ZzZz montser..

Its been hard for her.. having to look after my grandpa and worrying about us while she's there. The last time she went, she told me she'll be back in 2 days.. but she was gone for more than a month! i could tell she's worrying about the house, about me and my brother.. She calls almost everyday to make sure that everything is in order.. naking sure someone paid for all the bills.. all the shows she wanted were being recorded.. the plants were being watered.. the fishes being fed.. the hamsters being looked after.. Us, having enough food to eat.. She's like a mother hen.. although we both are quite grown up, i think we are still kids in her eyes..making sure everything is alright before she closes her eyes to sleep each night..

In the past month, i have done so much more housework compared to the days when mum was around.. and i tried my best to keep the house clean and neat.. especially the day before mum came back home. I could tell.. she was comforted.. not having to do anything while she's back.. and the house still in order. I guess that's the best mother's day present i could offer her..

I think a mother's love for her children is something really special. it's unlimited amount of tolerance, unlimited amount of care and concern, unlimited amount of worrying and unlimited amount of love, no matter what the child has done. Thanks mum.. for being there for me all these years..

Read the papers couple of days ago about another abandoned baby. It's so sad knowing that despite being in a knowledge-based economy with most people being educated, such things are still happening. i wonder how these mothers can bring themselves to abandon the child. I would rather that they dont bring it into to world to have it thrown down the rubbish chute or left at some staircase.

Wednesday, May 19, 2004


Dinner Gathering..


Met up with michie, jac, qunyu for dinner on monday night.. Had a hard time deciding where to head for dinner and eventually decided to eat at pastamania.. coz michie and me suddenly had got the urge for pasta..

We kinda had fun eating, chatting and catching up with each other's life, job and etc.. It kinda dawned on me that we have stopped schooling for half a year!! Wow.. and to think im still jobless.. Hee..

Anyway, here are some of the snapshots that i took during our meet up..



I think time passes really fast when you arent really doing anything. Each day, the sun sets before i can finish what i set out to do for the day.. and despite me being jobless.. i cant seemed to be finishing the "do-to" list that i have for myself each day.. Hmm... Something is not right here..

Anyway, been really frustrated recently.. I have been kinda criticised by a lot of people around me.. for not having a full time job. Though i see no wrong with it, their criticism has been upsetting me. I wanted to find a job where i'm able to learn new things, a job that lets me achieve the sense of satisfaction when i accomplish something.. not something that's monotonous.. not something that will make me drag my feet to work everyday..

Almost everyone thinks that i should jump into any offer that's being offered.. and then go for interviews while on the job.. But my point is, how can you take leave and go for interviews frequently when you have just started on a new job? I dont think taking leave is even appropriate in the first place.. and i still think looking for a job while moonlighting is still the best strategy..

I was being nagged by my dad just couple of days ago.. he calls me every now and then to check my location.. and then nags about me looking for a job before he hangs up each time. He came over the other day and asked me fill up this application form for my grandma.. and in the 30 minutes that he was here.. he nagged non stop and asked me to look for a job at least 10 times..

I was keeping my silence, trying not to start a fight although i was boiling in frustration and the ultimatum came when he shouted.."so what you are a degree holder?? So useless!! Can't even find a job!" At the point of time.. i was so mad that i refused to look at him.. totally ignored him and stormed off to my room and slammed my room door real hard. Well.. came out only after he left minutes later..

Was really really upset that night.. i feel so wronged.. i did look for jobs.. i did have job offers.. and the reason why im still jobless is because i wanted to find something that will enrich me as an individual.. not any other job that's available in the market.

While i was still trying to get over my frustration.. someone called and gave me some advice. I seriously think he's right. I was at fault too for my own frustration. I didnt really explain my stand to him.. and what i felt.. what i thought.. i could have explained nicely and make him understand what i think is right. But knowing my dad, i guess i better off with my mouth shut. And all those nagging that i faced in the past months are mainly from people who are at least a generation older..i reflected on my friend's words.. i begin to realise that i never seemed to have such problems with my friends, and i believe it's because i have explained to them what i wanted and they understand.. I think that's the kind of understanding that i need from the older people..and it also dawned on me that each time someone nags.. they are actually trying to show concern.. to show that they care.. If these people arent interested in your well-being, they wouldnt even bother talking to you.. like you wouldn't want to talk to the people you dun like..

I have never thought seriously about all these nagging.. My family is really quite different from what i would call a normal family. Everyone is independent in whatever they do and no one really nags at me..i mean, how can anyone restrict me for anything when i was a latched key child since the age of 7? And for many many years.. i never felt so restricted.. but yet.. in the last half a year.. i found so many people nagging at me.. Wow.. That's quite an accomplishment huh? Thinking back on what i mentioned earlier.. i must have made many old folks like me to have them constantly nagging down my neck...

I guess the moral of the story is.. the next time someone is nagging down your neck, take a deep breath and think positively.. They are actually showing their love.. I think that would take away any frustration that you might be feeling at that point of time..

Wednesday, May 12, 2004


Occupied..


30th Night & 1st May..


Had a gathering with my secondary schoolmates.. we had a chalet over the labor day weekend.. and the response was overwhelming.. Tho we often meet up once in a while.. the chalet was a different idea from our past outings.. and everyone chipped in to help and it was heart warming to know that everyone is willing to lend a hand to get things done and make the event a sucess..

Wanted to take photos of everyone.. but got too carried away catching up with everyone, playing mahjong and bbq-ing.. and ended up taking only 2 photos of the whole event!! Darn! was so disappointed when i came home realising that i forgot to take the photos..

Here are the photos i took of allan and phua choon yi..



Havent been updating the blog for a long time.. been busy with attending more interviews.. getting on with life.. getting the house organized.. trying to ensure that my mum is not too worried about everything in the house.. she has been away from some time now.. and calls almost everyday to make sure everything is in check.. like a mother hen worrying about her chicks.. the only difference is that it's 2 grown up and very independent chicks that she's worried about.. :)

Spent the last 2 weeks working at events as usual and attended more interviews.. I think im getting quite good in these interviews.. Was offered a couple of jobs, but turned them all down coz i didnt want a desk bound job that only allows me to sit in the office all day and make calls and surf the net..

Got 2 more interviews to attend tomorrow.. Quite excited about them.. Promotion Exe at Diners club and a PR Exe for Lucky Plaza.. Hope it goes well..For now, i need to go play chess with Mr. Zhou.. got to wake at 5am for a Microsoft event tomorrow morning before my interviews..





















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