a search for character.. seeking meaning of life.. losing naivete in the process..

Dinner Gathering..

Met up with michie, jac, qunyu for dinner on monday night.. Had a hard time deciding where to head for dinner and eventually decided to eat at pastamania.. coz michie and me suddenly had got the urge for pasta..

We kinda had fun eating, chatting and catching up with each other's life, job and etc.. It kinda dawned on me that we have stopped schooling for half a year!! Wow.. and to think im still jobless.. Hee..

Anyway, here are some of the snapshots that i took during our meet up..



I think time passes really fast when you arent really doing anything. Each day, the sun sets before i can finish what i set out to do for the day.. and despite me being jobless.. i cant seemed to be finishing the "do-to" list that i have for myself each day.. Hmm... Something is not right here..

Anyway, been really frustrated recently.. I have been kinda criticised by a lot of people around me.. for not having a full time job. Though i see no wrong with it, their criticism has been upsetting me. I wanted to find a job where i'm able to learn new things, a job that lets me achieve the sense of satisfaction when i accomplish something.. not something that's monotonous.. not something that will make me drag my feet to work everyday..

Almost everyone thinks that i should jump into any offer that's being offered.. and then go for interviews while on the job.. But my point is, how can you take leave and go for interviews frequently when you have just started on a new job? I dont think taking leave is even appropriate in the first place.. and i still think looking for a job while moonlighting is still the best strategy..

I was being nagged by my dad just couple of days ago.. he calls me every now and then to check my location.. and then nags about me looking for a job before he hangs up each time. He came over the other day and asked me fill up this application form for my grandma.. and in the 30 minutes that he was here.. he nagged non stop and asked me to look for a job at least 10 times..

I was keeping my silence, trying not to start a fight although i was boiling in frustration and the ultimatum came when he shouted.."so what you are a degree holder?? So useless!! Can't even find a job!" At the point of time.. i was so mad that i refused to look at him.. totally ignored him and stormed off to my room and slammed my room door real hard. Well.. came out only after he left minutes later..

Was really really upset that night.. i feel so wronged.. i did look for jobs.. i did have job offers.. and the reason why im still jobless is because i wanted to find something that will enrich me as an individual.. not any other job that's available in the market.

While i was still trying to get over my frustration.. someone called and gave me some advice. I seriously think he's right. I was at fault too for my own frustration. I didnt really explain my stand to him.. and what i felt.. what i thought.. i could have explained nicely and make him understand what i think is right. But knowing my dad, i guess i better off with my mouth shut. And all those nagging that i faced in the past months are mainly from people who are at least a generation older..i reflected on my friend's words.. i begin to realise that i never seemed to have such problems with my friends, and i believe it's because i have explained to them what i wanted and they understand.. I think that's the kind of understanding that i need from the older people..and it also dawned on me that each time someone nags.. they are actually trying to show concern.. to show that they care.. If these people arent interested in your well-being, they wouldnt even bother talking to you.. like you wouldn't want to talk to the people you dun like..

I have never thought seriously about all these nagging.. My family is really quite different from what i would call a normal family. Everyone is independent in whatever they do and no one really nags at me..i mean, how can anyone restrict me for anything when i was a latched key child since the age of 7? And for many many years.. i never felt so restricted.. but yet.. in the last half a year.. i found so many people nagging at me.. Wow.. That's quite an accomplishment huh? Thinking back on what i mentioned earlier.. i must have made many old folks like me to have them constantly nagging down my neck...

I guess the moral of the story is.. the next time someone is nagging down your neck, take a deep breath and think positively.. They are actually showing their love.. I think that would take away any frustration that you might be feeling at that point of time..