a search for character.. seeking meaning of life.. losing naivete in the process..

Frustrated me..

i was extremely pissed when i went to bed last nite. I can't stand wei's indecisiveness. Argh.. we planned the trip and i took leave for tomorrow.. and i kept asking if the trip was confirmed since there are things i need to do and prepare. all along, he told me ya.. we'll be going.. just before i slept last nite at almost 3am, i called wei to confirm abt meeting for the trip tomorrow... and there he tells me that we might not go anymore (when just 2 hours ago, he says that we'll be going!)..

I was thoroughly pissed, for the sake of this trip.. and i had to rush some of my personnel stuffs.. and i stayed up so late last nite to finish some unfinished business of mine and pack my bag, only to have someone tell me that we might not be going afterall! i was so frustrated and tired.. and super angry with wei.

i wonder if i have the right to be angry.. for days.. i kept asking abt it.. and for days.. he didnt say anything except for the doubts of his car.. whether he should be driving his car and whether it's safe to drive his car. and whether he should allow his friend to drive his car..(since the last time they went, his friend forgot to release the hand brake and drove for 1 and 1/2 hours at the speed of 120km/hr.. thank god that was a rented car..)

wei mentioned that im constantly frustrated these days.. am i? or am i just frustrated with him only? i didnt realise it..neither do i know why i'm frustrated.. all i know is.. the last 2 weeks is just so hectic that my body havent resting much and i'm still sick till this day.

I'm still wondering what to do today.. i have no idea whether im heading for the trip tonight and i left my luggage at home.. since wei didnt give me a clear answer last nite. oh well.. if i delayed everyone else.. then i only have him to blame.

im starting a day off feeling pissed, angry and upset.. and im battling to keep my eyelids open.. i know this is bad.. but i cant help it.. my mental mind is no longer strong to hold me in place.