a search for character.. seeking meaning of life.. losing naivete in the process..

All alone for now..

I'm all alone for now. not sure if i should welcome the change. im neither very happy or very sad. i feel lost. Maybe it's an opportunity to pack my emotions and really decide what i really want..

i have a lot of questions that i want to ask.. but cant find the right time and opportunity to ask. There are many doubts that i have, but no chance for me to clarify.. they are all bursting within me.. tormenting me every day. i wish someone would lead the way.

my eyes are swollen, i cant see properly.. my vision is clouded and im irritated. everything seems down.. but i see sparks here and there.. coming from people who are trying to put a smile on my face. It's like fireworks, it's only for a short while and everything then turns dark again.