a search for character.. seeking meaning of life.. losing naivete in the process..

brain dead

gawd. i tried hard waking early to study my jap after turning in at near 5am last nite. my brain seemed to be dead no matter how hard i tried to drill the jap in. memorizing the simple terms almost killed me when a lot of them are just so similar!

for example:
kikimasu - listen
kakimasu - write
kakemasu - make

I keep confusing them! and there are hundreds for me to know.. from cutlery to places (zoo, botanic garden, bank, train station), to action words (send, eat, drink, sleep, rest), to tools from the toolbox, to greetings, different meals of the day, time, dollar expression, the family chart, the calendar, transportation means, people expressions.. argh! and these are just SOME examples. they are all killing my brain cells. and these are not the main stuff i have to learn. sentence structure, the different particles to use are the core, but without knowing the basic words, how to form a sentence? not to mention that there are positive and negative aspects of some words and present and past tense.

the last 4 lessons are the killer. they are so hard and plus the fact that i didnt have time to revise makes them all the more foreign to me. altho i always manage to know enough to survive in class, somehow, knowing that i cant refer to anything tomorrow freaks me and my tiny brain out!

the only thing that im assured with is the writing aspect. somehow, i have practised hard during the first few lessons that it has given me a pretty strong foundation, but, im still nervous!

-butterflies in my stomach-

my brain is shutting down as i type this post. tears are welling up in my eyes with each yawn and i wanna head back to dreamland.



watched sahara last nite and i find the show pretty engaging. i guess it was pretty well worth the time despite having a test to study for. heh. :P recommended if you like action stuff.. loads of bullets and explosion in the show.

alrighty, hitting the books again. time is running out. got to go for dinner tonight with wei's family.