a search for character.. seeking meaning of life.. losing naivete in the process..

despondent..

it's another of those i wanna-cry-out-loud-but-no-tears-come-into-my-eyes days.. dun ask me why. it just hit me when i least expects it.

i know this will lead to a flood of my hp with smses saying "take care", "u ok?", "call me if anything", "cheer up k" messages.. and some who are really kind, will start sending me mms of photos/pictures of things that i usually like and will cheer my day up. it will prob also leave a chain of messages on my tagboard or emails asking me what's wrong, and also msgs over the msn. before you decide to pick that hp up, hit that write mail button, divert your eyes to the comment bar/tagboard or start looking for my nick in your msn list.. i'm here to say.. dun worry.. i'm feeling fine. *manages a smile* :)

i guess life's like that. it's filled with ups and downs and there are always people in the ups times to share your joy with and the down times to share your woes. the question is, are the same people sharing your joys the same as those sharing your woes? as much as i hope the same people to be there whether it is up or down, i can hardly believe it will happen in reality. maybe it does, but im too blinded to see it anymore.

i feel puzzled pondering about a question that i have no answer to. at least, i dont have the answer that im actually looking for.

i do hope i'll find the answer someday.