a search for character.. seeking meaning of life.. losing naivete in the process..

feeling rebellious..

it's the 30th!! oh gawd.. waited for more than a month for this day. it's gonna be ivy's hens night out! wooHooo!

i just wanna party hard today, forget abt all the troubles stored in me.. get myself drunk like i never had and really let my hair down to relax. going to rush home after work, pack my stuff and check into swissotel in the afternoon.. and then.. the party begins from there. i wont be home tonight!

-takes a deep breath and sighs-

im actually feeling quite down and a little rebellious. the first thought that came to my mind today is I DONT WANT TO WORK. so, i snoozed my alarm from 7.15am all the way to 7.45am and didnt get out of bed till 8am. feeling a little pissed, i wore a super short mini skirt, a racer back tank top, a nike cap and slippers to work. even my mum is astonished at my dressing and asked, "can you wear that to work?". seriously speaking, do i look like i care?

as usual, i reached work at almost 9am, but still.. im earlier than my superior. i dun see the point in coming that early when he doesnt come that early too. hehe. working smart.

something happened last nite. something i do not wish to talk abt now. i just want to focus on finding the real cherie now. the one that has been lost somewhere as years went by..

all i have to say is this. i feel like shit when i needed to talk and ended up hearing 45mins of a 1 hr conversation instead. im not blaming you, but its a fact that things has come this way. i dont have anything else to give now. unless you fuel me up like petrol to a car (note: the fuel must match the engine, no point giving me diesel when i power up on petrol), i really need to be with myself now. i'm sorry.