a search for character.. seeking meaning of life.. losing naivete in the process..

smiling away..

i'm full of smiles now. i have no idea why, but i wanna head for bed.. feeling really tired.

many commented that my graduation photos are nice and natural. i wouldnt describe it as natural. definite abt that. let me explain. the day i took the photos.. i truly understand how sucky a model's job can get. its not just about posing for the photos.

all those laughing photos.. i had to laugh into thin air and pretend there's something funny about it when im feeling hot and sweaty under the gown. and i got to keep spinning around the fire hydrant and running non stop for that shot.

the grass photos.. looks fun but its very uncomfortable with the grass pricking at you and you still have to smile naturally, pretending it's fun.

the shot with 2 mortar boards in the air. you wouldnt want to know how many times michie and me threw those mortars to get just 1 nice shot, not forgetting jon, wei, boy (mich's bro) & frens helping to retrieve the mortar boards 'cos we werent supposed to stray from where we were standing.

so, it all boils down to really hard work. anyone interested in working as a model now? heh.

wei broke his promise yet again. sigh.

i read this at xiaoqiang's blog some time ago.. somehow.. it struck me a little. maybe it explains a little why im so soft-hearted. -sigh-


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Life is the process of finding love. Every person will need to find four people in their life. First person is yourself, Second person is the one you love most, Third person is the one who love you most, And the fourth, is the one you spend therest of your life with.

In life, firstly you will meet with the one you love most, and learn how love feels. Because you know how love feels, so you can find the person who love you most.

When you have experienced the feeling of loving others and being loved, you will then know what it is you need most. Then you will find the person who is most suitable for you, to be able to spend the rest of your life with.

Sadly, in real life, these three people are usually not the same person.

The one you love most, doesn't love you. The one who loves you most, is never the one you love most. And the one you spend your life with, is never the one you love most or the one who loves you most. He is just the person who happens to be at the right place at the right time.

Which person are you in other people life?

No person will purposely have a change of heart. At the point in time when he loves you, he really loves you. But when he doesn't love you anymore, he really doesn't love you anymore. When he loves you, he can pretend that he doesn't.

Same goes, when he loves you no more, there is no way he can pretend he loves you. When a person doesn't love you and wants to leave you, you must ask yourself if you still love him. If you also don't love him anymore, don't ever let him leave just to save your pride.

If you still love him, you should wish him happiness, and hope that he will be with the one he loves most, not stop him from it. If you stop him from finding true happiness with the one he loves, it shows you already don't love him. And if you don't love him, what rights do you have to blame him for a change of heart?

Love is not possessive. If you like the moon, you can't just take it down and put it in your basin. But the moonlight still shines upon you. In other words, when you love a person, you can use another method of possessing the person. Let him become a permanent memory in your life.

If you really love a person, you must love him for what he is. Love him for his good points, and the bad. You can wish for him to become like what you like him to be just because you love him. If he can change to become what you like him to be, you don t love him anymore.

When you really love a person, you cannot find a reason why you love him, you only know that no matter when and where, good mood or bad mood, you will wish to have this person be with you.

Real love is when two people can go through the toughest problems without asking for promises or listing criteria. In a relationship, you have to put in effort and give in at times, not always be on the receiving end.

Being away from each other is a type of test. If the relationship isn't strong, then you can only admit defeat.

Real love will never become hate...

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