a search for character.. seeking meaning of life.. losing naivete in the process..

when is enough enough?

it's sad. im supposed to be excited abt the weekend, but im all stressed up. coupled with a backache and impending fever, there's hardly any wind left in me.

there are a thousand and one things at the back of my mind that i need to do. but my mind and my body doesnt sing a synchronized tune. my eyes are constantly burning. eyelids getting heavier by the second.

was talking to my uncle on msn earlier.. and we were talking abt my super rich granduncle and how to be like him. uncle popped me a question and asked me, "so why are u doing what u are doing now? shouldnt u be striving be to like him?"

i wont deny the fact that its nice to be loaded with money.. but when is enough enough? im happy, earning enough to maintain my life and my little indulgences. is there really a need to strive hard, irregardless of ethics, being oblivious to the people around us (esp. those suffering) to achieve the state where people pride you as the rich, or so-called have "wind" when u walk?

besides, there's always the "hush-hush" senarios where the kids will be dying for you to kick the bucket some day so that they get their share at your accumulated wealth. i know its meanie to say this, but no one can deny that this can happen to anyone in this world. and being the practical, frank and super direct me, i told my uncle just that. -grins-

to put the story short, i think i rather be someone true to myself. someone ethical. someone whom still stays happy despite having a small pay check. of cos, i'll grumble.. who doesnt? but at the end of the day, i think im still contented abt my life thus far. besides, doesnt things/events will be more appreciated when u had to scrimp or save to buy or for it to happen? was just telling wei 2 weekends ago.. i miss the days when he's in the army while im in school. we were so broke, but we had so much fun. the little things in life will just fill us with joy. now that we are both at work, with reasonable income, we arent as happy as before. the sweetness of it may be robbed when u didnt have to work hard for it. sometimes, we'll all start taking things for granted. i do fall into those traps too.. afterall, i too, am just a mere human being.