a search for character.. seeking meaning of life.. losing naivete in the process..

am i? am i?

my tummy was having the runs last nite when i got home from work. was tired from the long day i had on monday. was determined to rest at home and sleep early. at 9.10pm, i got a call from raphael. i was asked to join them balaclava. "who is there?" was my first reaction. i didnt mean to sterotype, but i was telling myself that unless there is a need to, i rather stay at the comfort of my home and rest my tired body.

and so it turns out, they were all there coz toto (desmond) is going for sailing for the next one and a half months today. gosh. i agreed almost immediately and got out of the house in 15mins.

it was fun catching up with the guys. people like victor, i havent seen him in the last 8 months.. and his gf (my tp junior), kareen. i also found out that dan's gf is from my primary school. her brother is my brother's good friend, and she recognised me coz she said i looked the same since im a kid! gawd.. i dun even know her!

and when i thought i was friend enough to make that trip to suntec to join them, and tried to drink a little despite the running tummy so as not to dampen the mood.. and reaching home way after midnight.. i found myself getting irritating with one friend who seemed to be demanding my attention.

am i such a fair weather friend? the thought of it irks me. but i couldnt help it when one friend of mine kept complaining and complaining abt something to me.. and she's been saying the same thing for the past 2 months.. i dunno what to say to her anymore. i've said all i can, and there she is.. like a recording machine. telling me the same things each time she "sees" me. i just wanna escape. i was frustrated. i didnt even feel like replying. and i feel my brow all wrinkled up and my temper beginning to boil.

i feel so tired. i kinda hate it when im asked to "nurse" someone.. especially over a period of time. i mean, i have given my advice time and time again and it doesnt make any sense to me when u still keep harping me for some solution that i don't have and cant do anything abt..

and it just triggered my threshold today. and i think im gonna avoid her for a while. i cant take it anymore. im so sorry. i admit. this time, im a fair weathered friend.