a search for character.. seeking meaning of life.. losing naivete in the process..

irritable..

recently, i have been very irritable. especially with certain people. im sterotyping, but i cant help it. the things they do really pisses the hell outta me.

i know i've said this a lot recently, but im really very tired. i cant get enough sleep. i have no idea what i have been doing when im home. last night was a long night. i spent at least 5 hours fumbling with my new toy that arrived from the states in the wee hours of the morning. yes, my brother is back from his 2 weeks trip.

and i have got new toys to play with. yeah! a epson cd printer and my ipod photo. but, i havent have much time to do anything with them, coz im leaving tonite.

last nite was traumatic for me. my bro didnt help me pack the fishing rods and stuff before he went to bed. and i wasnt able to wake him. literally turned the whole house upside down, acted like a thief, took the spare key and torch.. searched his room in the dark. mum joined in and i tell you.. it's a comical sight, but i wasnt in the mood to laugh.

after hours of me shouting, complaining, venting my frustrations and agony.. i got the whole house up looking for the fishing equipment. at 3+ in the morning, i found it myself. in a shoe rack. mum must have kept it there during one of her clean-the-house sessions and left it there, and FORGOT abt it totally. gor and her were pushing the blame on each other abt the location of the stuff, and there i was dreaded with thoughts of not being able to go to the kelong trip with the fishing equipment.

by the time im packed, loaded my ipod with songs, charged all my spare camera batteries and packing my memory sticks, i can only grab 3 hrs of sleep. and here i am, resisting the nodding to dreamland. had to force myself to drink hot milo without sugar..

im not really excited abt the trip tonight anymore. the excitement is drowned by the tiredness. my shoulders aching so much. must learn how to relax my shoulders. they are tensed up all the time.. subconsciously i tense them up. dunno why. especially when im seated in front of the computer.

lunch affairs have been a big headache recently. havent ate mum's cooked food ever since i went for spain trip. have to crack my head on what to eat now. and the disputes over the lunch time is pecking at the back of my head. -sigh-

i feel like eating the hainanese chickie rice at yishun central!