a search for character.. seeking meaning of life.. losing naivete in the process..

bored..

wei's at class.. and im totally lost. I have to fetch him for his class later and in between, i cant find anyone to do anything with. everyone seemed to be occupied. so, here i am.. blogging from the comfort of wei's room and waiting for time to pass so that i can go fetch him.

and oh.. i need to go find a present later as well. wei's nephew is turning 1 month today! gonna see the cute little baby later.

i have been posting blog entries in my livejournal recently. am beginging to enjoy using livejournal since i can control the readership of my posts and keep those sensitive issues at bay.

wonder if i should make the switch, but i really prefered blogspot for it's customization. sigh..

i seemed to get myself into more trouble it seems.. and now, i need to figure how to get out of this rut before it snowballs into a big bomb and explodes on me.

someone finally clapped his hands after i finished singing a song at the karaoke yesterday. haha. made me happy like hell.. and motivated me.

oh, didnt i mention i really sucks in singing? no one really pay attention when i start singing for the fact that i cant really sing.. and will attract more negative comments than clapping the moment i start singing.

and, i KNOW i cant sing for nuts, and the person that clapped definitely motivated me, even though he might not even know this. i never mentioned this before.. but it really sucks when i try to sing and have people put me down. and a lot of my friends seemed to be doing that (and even tho i know they only meant to tease me).. it hurts.. tho i never show it. it makes me feel like shit.. feel so down for not being even on par.. and it doesnt help when wei's such a good singer.. so good that he's always the center of attention in karaokes. and i really meant ALWAYS.

and there i am fading in the background.. lost in everyone's else singing. that's prob the reason why i'm always extremely quiet in a karaoke as compared to a dinner date or some other activities. as much as i try hard to learn to be better and heed wei's comments.. it somehow backfires.. i feel extremely tensed up each time i step into karaokes. like being pressured to perform. and i crack under the pressure.

and okie, before i kena whack by others.. there are also very nice people who encourages me to sing.. and make me feel totally at ease. they, for a fact, goes to karaoke to let of steam, and anyhow sing and they dont give a damn if i sang in the wrong key or cant read the lyrics. they laugh it off as fun and i really appreciate them for making me feel this way.. makes me wanna hang out with them more often and just be myself..

the radio is playing so much of the superstar Chen Wei Lian's 童话 today. i heard it at least 3 times. and i didnt even hear kelly's song. or did i happen to miss it everytime? i think he's gonna get the superstar title for sure. and personally, i think, he has more marketing value than anyone of the superstar. at least, that's how i see it. just under a week to find out if im right.

the time ticks by so slowly. and the living room just started flashing non stop for 10 secs while wei's mum is in the bathroom. eerie. heh.

gonna read a book and maybe snooze a little more before fetching wei in 2 hours. hope everyone have a great weekend!