a search for character.. seeking meaning of life.. losing naivete in the process..

Beach Wedding..

i'm totally worn out by the activities of the past weekend. Spent saturday roller blading the whole of Pasir Ris park (i didnt know the end of it will lead to the NTUC chalet - how mountain tortise i am!!).. and then went to the chalet to bathe and prepare myself for the wedding..

gosh!! i was so "under-dressed"!! I didnt know what to wear.. i was in shorts and tank top and slippers.. and everyone else seemed to be in sun dresses.. pretty heels and make-up.. Gawd.. i wore a bikini beneath my tank top and shorts.. thank god i brought along a sarong.. for beach activities.. took it and wrapped around my waist and at least i seemed to blend in a little better among the rest.

i declare this as a "friends day"!! before heading to pasir ris.. wei & me had lunch in northpoint and i met meiting @ B1.. chatted a while and parted..found out that Eileen is getting married, but i wasnt invited (actually, that's good news for me.. can save money.. hahah.. anyway, im not really close to her either!).. then while rushing through my lunch, i met another friend that used to work at AP comm.. couldnt say much so i just waved hi..

while blading in the park.. i heard a loud "ZIHUI" being shouted somewhere behind me.. i turned and saw collin jogging in the park.. on the pedestrian track while i was on the cyclist track.. wei couldnt stand the fact that i had friends everywhere.. and during dinner.. i met yet another friend.. this time, one of my freshies while i was the OGL in TP.. he served my table and i did find him familiar.. but didnt take much notice till he called my name while i was picking some fruits off the buffet spread.. Gawd.. i feel like im being spied..

anyway, the wedding was fantastic.. it did rained a little.. but it was "showers of blessings from god" - as mentioned by the christain couple. It was totally relaxing and we helped ourselves to all the wine, food, booze, cake.. the view of the sea was great.. relaxing and chilling when the sea breeze hits my face..

here are some photos of the wedding.. didnt take much coz it was drizzling and i didnt wanna spoil my camera.. and after the ceremony, i was too engrossed in chatting and getting to know all of wei's colleagues that i forgot about taking photos.. it was a night of fun and laughter.. i was glad that i didnt feel out of place even though wei spent almost the whole night talking his colleagues instead of me..



almost every one of the guys got drunk including wei and i spent the entire nite at the chalet cleaning up his vomit. it was hectic.. having 4 person puking all at the same time, not enough sober people to help clean up, not enough plastic bags to go around containing the vomit.. but in the midst of all these.. was fun, loads of laughter.. loads of funny incidents and interesting acts.. i was the last to head for bed.. was really tired but wei was still belching through the nite, and i was afraid that he would mess himself and the bed covers.. so i sat beside and kept a watch till i fell asleep..

slept for abt 2 hours and woke to check on the rest of the guys.. some left while everyone was sleeping.. but others woke hours later.. and left coz they had stuff to do.. only 4 were left in the chalet eventually. i went to buy food to munch..while waiting for them to wake..

wei was the last to wake and we headed for lunch.. i was so tired after lunch that i headed back, took a bath and konked out.. wei was running a slight fever and suffering a hangover.. he was not in the right mind to drive either.. finally left the chalet at 7+.. headed for a thai dinner and its home sweet home..

I gonna konk out now.. so tired since i didnt sleep much last nite.. i wish my weekends would be longer.. im dread going to work now..

a little ease..

felt super frustrated today at work.. so many things to do.. it CONSUMED me.. i'm sorry to all my work colleagues that i snapped at.. i didnt mean to..

thanks too those that tried to talk some sense into me.. appreciate it.. but im just like an over stretched rubberband.. leave me alone and i'll be fine. i need caveman time.. to be alone.. to feel at ease and relax..

apologies to raphael. i think you seemed to have something to talk about when u called me earlier in the day. i missed ur call coz phone was on silent, but then i wasnt really in the mood coz i was rushing a lot of work.. we'll chat over dinner or coffee some day ya? dun fret too much, a turtle is supposed to have long life..

i'm upset today, my little baby got into a car accident and the car was badly banged up. the boot cant be opened.. and to think he got it for less than 3 months.. i'm a little upset.. but i'm thankful, and happy in fact.. i was just telling him yesterday that its the rainy season and reminded him to be careful on the roads.. and today, *bang!* accident. but i'm proud of the fact the he was banged and he aint the one banging people. hee.

i am thankful that he's ok. the fact that i still have the chance to talk to him, receive his smses.. it made me realise that material needs aint really that important.. someday, the car will be replaced.. but we wont feel the loss if we buy a new car.. but with a person gone.. its a totally different story. dar, i want you to promise me to go check out that neck k? if not i strangle you.. haha..

i decided to drop all my work today and leave at 6.30pm. headed for dinner with samantha @ sun plaza.. at my favourite fast food outlet again! *yipee* chatted on other things.. for a long while.. i felt a little relaxed and somehow in a good mood. thanks for spending time with me.. dear old samantha. i think im gonna miss you when u go on maternity leave.

i think gossiping and chatting really cheers me up. i hope i have the time to talk to people more often..

i got to go, heading for bed. got meeting with joseph tomolo morning (again!?!!), and another meeting at heartland mall - Kovan. i hope the meeting in the morning wont take too long, coz i have loads to accomplish before i head out of office for that 2.30pm meeting. i'll be keeping my fingers crossed, if not, i'l be heading back to the office to get work done after office hours.. :I

it's nancy's bdae today!!!

Happy 26th Birthday, Nancy!

Getting into my head..

loads of files, loads of calls, loads of meetings, loads of emails, loads of ants harassing me at my work table. the word "money" buzzing my mind all the time.. how to earn them all from the consumer's pockets?? all these are giving me a headache for the past few days! the kind of headache that i need to pop a panadol to ease..

i cant sleep well at night.. im constantly stressed up.. checking my back and re-thinking if i have forgotten to do anything. too much to handle, too little time, two little hands to hardly cope, too small a brain..

i need to do some sports to ease my tension, but i cant find the time. argh! its making me frustrated all the time.. and i snap at people more easily. i burn in fury too often.. im sorry if you have been one of those that are burnt by me..

no decent pictures taken still of my new haircut. Hmmm.. keep waiting to see it!

here's the pic that i took last sunday while i was @ Tekka Mall.. (that's where i cut my hair) and i tot it was a sight.. that removed me from the bustling of an office life.. a place where i seemed to forget abt my work.. where life was much simpler.. like my childhood days.. places like this were much more common..



met up with jac yesterday. finally gave her the cactus that i bought for her.. initially it had a bud, then i left it in the office and watered it.. and the bud, it turned into a flower!! how pretty! was so shocked, when it suddenly bloomed.. so quickly met up with jac and gave it to her..

here's a photo of it after it bloomed..



i'm so happy.. i'm looking forward to this weekend.. the weekend where my dream wedding will finally be happening..(no No!! Im not getting married.. no wedding bells to hear.. :P).. i'm attending someone's else wedding whose concept is very much the same of what i have in mind for my own.. someday.. i'm gonna see how it's gonna be done(and learn from it!!).. the invitation is just so interesting. forgot to take a picture of it last week when i went to wei's house.. shall take it this weekend and upload with all the photos that i'm gonna take.. of my DREAM wedding.. *excited*

i have loads of work to do.. i have brought back some work coz staying in the office is simply giving me a headache. i wonder if its due to the stale air or something.

oh, to all my friends out there.. if you happened to work in a company where there a recreation club or whereby the welfare of the employees are well taken care of, so let me know. i need some recreation personnel contacts.

got to go.. as much as i wanted to pen more of my thoughts.. the clock is ticking.. my body clock shutting but my "to-do" list still has many items unchecked.

bye for now. night to all. miss michie and her chirpy voice. as much as you hope that the work week whizzes past, i hope you'll be back soon. i want to go for that PEDICURE that we planned for so LONG!! take care in hongkong. buy me a pressie please. haha.

gawd..

stared hard in mirror today. conclusion: i think i look like Chinatsu Tsuboi (Makiko Esumi) in that jap drama - Power Office Girls.

i wonder if this is good or bad.

for the moment, i welcome the change. i just hope that pimples wont be popping all over my forehead anytime soon.

I HATE IT WHEN SUNDAY IS OVER!!

my weekend always seems short, no matter whether i have to work on sat. ARGH! i feel like finding a cave, hiding in it and not coming out no matter what.. it's been a long time since i felt this way.. i wanna run away! from my work.. from my life.. from all the things that awaits me to do! *screams*

i like my blog header no matter what people say. i just like it to be cutesy. that's something that i aspire to be.. hahah.. (yes, i know im far from it! - tat's y i aspire!!)

i need motivation.. where should my motivation source be from?? i did something catastrophic today! Snipped off some of my hair..

know yourself??

i finally had a day of sufficient sleep after 2 weeks of hard work.. i was pondering over this statement that joseph brought up during the meeting the other day..

"He who knows others is wise, he who knows himself is enlightened."

It struck me hard.. how much do i really know about myself? Do i really know myself better than anyone else? I do know of some of my flaws.. but i'm not sure if they are all that i have.. i know my strengths, but are there more strengths that i dunno about?

My blog posts are getting shorter and shorter. It has got to do with my energy level. what the heck! sometimes i think, why the hell should i work so hard? some day i might just end up like my colleague.. for now.. im struggling to make it through.. hoping that someday.. it's myself that have benefited from all that hard work..

I'm gonna take an afternoon nap.. somehow im still feeling lethargic..

my stress level is sky rocketing!!

I'm getting more and more easily frustrated at work and i know that isnt a good sign.. I am superly overloaded.. i dare say im coping at least 3 person's work and i can hardly breathe.. and some of my colleagues are pushing me more work.. their work.. i should say..

i need a break.. or something to perk me up.. change my comfort zone.. get out from where i am.. i have been toying with the idea of changing my hairstlye.. to the hairstyle that i had one year ago..but this time with pitch black hair. For those who hasnt seen it.. here's a really low res picture of it.. took it from my handphone cammie..one year ago.. hee..



i would like to hear comments on what you think.. should i or shouldnt i? Well.. i might just decide to heed your advice! but i'll decide myself eventually..

Worn out..

Im totally worn out.. im so tired but i spent the last 2 hours making earrings for my auction buyers.. i can feel my throat getting inflammed.. a sign that my body hadnt had enough rest..

It's a tiring day in the office.. some people relationship among other colleagues are putting a strain on everyone in the office.. and we actually had to have a meeting to "open up their minds".. a little lame.. but i think it was necessary since the situation has gone out of control.. I'm really glad that i get along well with everyone in the office..

got to konk out now.. so TIRED! wish i could be on medical leave tomorrow or something like that, and sleep the whole damn day away! *sigh*

Help!!

I need some professional photography help real BADLY!! I've been sourcing for a photographer for my cakes.. anyone know of any professional photographer that charges affordable rates?

Please drop me a message with contact details pls! Thanks a lot!

Queasy stomach..

my stomach hasnt been feeling well recently... i feel bloated all the time and i getting the "wei zhang qi" problem.. i havent been getting regular meals.. either i starve for a long while (while waiting for lunch time in the morning) or i have heavy meals (lunch/dinner) once i get the chance to.. I know this is bad.. but i hardly can help it..anyway, this has been a problem since i changed my diet 5 years also..

for once in a long time, i finally felt a little relaxed at work today.. and decided to leave everything aside when the clock struck 6pm.. left the office and headed for causeway point! Shopped a little while waiting for yihui.. had dinner @ my only & favourite fast food joint..*yeah*

was so occupied catching up with each other that i forgot to take photo of the food i ate.. anyway, here's the photo i took after i realised that i havent taken any photos...



it's almost bedtime, but i have lots to accomplish still.. *sigh* better get some work now and head for bed to ease that stomach..

birdy: i reckon u are really busy... that u dont even have the time to pop me a HI.. but no worries.. work hard and i'll catch you and put u in my cage some day. hahaha..(i hope the king doesnt come after me.. *bleah*)

Sleepyhead..

i seemed not to have sufficient sleep every other day.. every time the clock nears 11pm.. my eyes are starting to close.. and i can feel my body getting "heated up".. I think i really need a break, but sadly, i hardly can take it. *sigh*

I have been pondering whether i wrote this in my blog before..cant remember, too tired to check.. so heck! i think my name is such an interesting thing.. coz, there are many others out there who just doesnt know how to pronounce it.. and the most ironic thing that i found.. was that i got the name "cherie" to ease people from pronouncing my chinese name (which i believe is a tad harder..).

Anyway, here's the thing that i realised.. i'm known to most as "cherry", one of my boss calls me "cherries" (so, i'm more than just one cherry huh?) and sometimes i am also known as "cherish".. A lot of people call my office line and ask for cheryl, shirley and all sorts of other names that i cant imagine having.. even most of my colleagues cant get my name right!! Frustrating right? *sigh* and the worst part is, there's this other lady.. named shirley.. so more than half the time.. i was trying to figure out whether people are talking to me or her.. and half the time, im wrong.. replying to the wall.. only to realise that i'm not the one being called.

Anyway, i think one's character is so dymanic.. there are so many words that can be used to describe just one person.. i wonder.. how well my close friends know the real me.. and is it really the real me that they know or just a side of my character? or maybe only part of my personality..

Here's some really simple guidelines on knowing me better..

If you ever find me unfriendly, please go away. I prob dont like you at all..

I usually talk a lot of rubbish.. i mean really NON STOP and laugh hysterically if im really at ease with you.. Only a minority have experienced this particular sight of me.

If you think im a quiet person, either i dont like you or i dont intend to be your friend..

If you have me mentioning you in my blog all the time, you are considered the "v.i.f" of mine..

I try to take things lightly most of the time, but it might not be how i feel..

I'm an introvet at home and an extrovet outside my home.. isnt it amazing?

Time to konk out.. Night chirpy.. night sweetie.. night everybody..

photos.. finally..

here are the photos of my desk.. and some photos that i took on sat while the production staff are loading the cakes into the container due for jarkata..



For you mich, and jac..

mich: it hope this pleases you when u get to guangzhou.. and yeah.. we'll have some fun over the webbie cam..if you see me online..

loads on my mind.. but i dont have the time to unload it.. im so tired and sleepy.. Got to get to bed soon.. tomorrow.. i'm gonna have work blues again.. i just wish every day is sunday now.. (the only day i can sleep late!)

What a life!

I think my life is getting really interesting. It's has become no life except work life! I'm still in the office at this hour! I just cant believe it. It's a saturday! it's 6.03pm and i'm supposed to be on half day! even a normal day should end at 5.30pm.

Went home at 8.30pm last night, managed to clear a lot of stuff.. came into the office and more work piled on me.. X'mas around the corner.. so im dammn busy.. to top that off, i got to make sure that the marketing related stuff for the jarkata operations are being prepared.. I seriously wish there were more of me.. or at least, i have more hands and brains to help me.

Thank god that wei has lesson today.. so i wasnt feeling as miserable as i thought i would be..

I just felt the need to blog, do something for 10 mins that has got nothing associated with my work..

Oh.. michie, wish you have a safe trip tomorrow!! Gonna miss ya and remember to catch me on msn when u have the time ya? *hugs* we'll go for that long postponed pedicure of ours when u are back!

jac, i havent had the time to load the pictures of my office desk that i took with me "new" cammie.. (it's in a total mess anyway..), but i'll try to show it to you soon k? On the day where i get to go home early.. *sigh*

Okie, back to work now.. i dun wanna stay too long in this seat of mine..

(shucks! it's only 6 mins since i started blogging! *back to work*)

Yawnz..Strained..Stressed..Rushed..Penniless..happy!

was really tired this morning when i woke. havent seem to get enough sleep these days.. think i'm heading out too often after work.. havent got home early these days since i had to have dinner out (mummy has gone to japan for the past 10 days..) was out with toto playing snooker at yishun safra yesterday.. worked really late on tuesday.. out with jac on monday night..

my body was still asleep when my mind tried to drag it to the bathroom and around the house deciding what i should wear to work.. everything was a blur.. the next thing i know.. Darn! I'm running late!! *ran with all my might across the basketball court to the bus stop in my new heels* reached in time, was panting badly when the bus pulled into the bus stop.. *hee

busy at work.. too many things that needs my attention.. phone kept ringing.. had meetings to attend.. before i knew.. it's 6pm. got to leave the office coz meeting jac. supposed to watch terminal but it wasnt available in town anymore. *sigh*

favourite activity next... shopped!! Whee!! tried loads of clothes.. im so good in stripping my clothes and wearing them again.. hahaha.. cherie then became penniless... *OoPs* how am i to survive for the rest of the month.. bank account less than 60 dollars.. gonna make my piggy bank puke some money out soon..

finally remember what i wanted to write on my blog couple of days ago while walking home..

Got home and found mummy back home.. Yeah!! not more dinner outside!!*yipee* and the happiest thing that happened to me upon her return was that my uncle decided to give me his sony digital camera!! I havent taken much decent pictures ever since my cam went down more than 2 months ago.. mum didnt really buy anything for me in japan.. but that doesnt really matter.. afterall, i have been there.. and the camera meant SO much more to me!! *jumping for joy* thanks smally goo!! *winkz*

Oh.. and here's what i wanted to write.. I'm beginning to think im so lame.. and i cant imagine the extent that i'll go.. just to get discounts for shopping.. was at giodano last weekend and decided to buy a tank top.. and here's what happened..

*waiting at cashier for my turn*
retail associate (ra): Hi mdm, is that all for you?
me: yap.
ra: are you a member?
me: ya! but i didnt bring the keychain.. can i give you my ic no? (i'm not a member and i dun have any keychain..)
ra: sure!
me: 81xxxxxD
*wei stunned beside me..*
ra: B as in brazil?
*me acting really cool*
me: huh? D, for donkey!
ra: oh.. okie.. (keying in the info), ms teo?
*wei shot me a really puzzled look - eyes big big and frowning..*
me: uh huh..
ra: michelle, if you come on your birthday, you'll get 20% discount.
*wei super stunned and started grinning after a while..*
me: yap, i know that. thanks!
(quickly left the shop coz wei's expressions giving me away!!)

right after the episode, wei was going like.. "oh michelle, hi! I'm Ian. Nice meeting you.." me - *grr*

I actually can memorise michelle's ic number at the back of my mind as if it's my own.. haha.. just for the sake of discounts..

i also realised what i wanted to say wasnt so significant after all.. Oh, i also made an interesting observation while blogging recently.. no matter how many more blog entries that i seemed to add to this blog.. the total blog entries will always remain at 111. Weird. anyone having the same problem or know the answer to this unusual numbering system?

mich, if you are reading this.. jac & me met clar outside plaza sing today.. and i'm gonna miss you LOADS while u are gone in a couple of days time.. hardly have the chance to talk to you recently on msn.. where's chirpy? better appear before i chop off that old gum tree..

tired..

weekends always seemed to whizz pass and monday seemed much longer than the weekend i had. maybe, coz i had a pleasant weekend. nothing interesting really.. had dinner in restaurant, headed for karaoke.. then snooker.. sleep.. wake.. lunch.. movie.. home..

caught this hilarious movie White Chicks.. its been a long time since i last caught a comedy in the cinemas.. totally enjoy this movie..

slept really late last night..was surfing the net and was stoning in front of the computer. at times, i just wish i didnt have to work.. i kinda missing my nua-ing times but then.. come to think about it.. i prefer my current disposal income level.. haha..

realised today that xiaoqiang is finally taken away from the bus stop. its weird seeing a friend at the bus stop everyday.. on a poster.. haha

was supposed to head for The Terminal today with jac, but heard from raphael that he wanted to watch too.. so i decided to postpone the movie so that the 3 of us can watch it some other day.. that way, i can watch one movie and satisfy 2 friends.. hahaha..

Oh.. headed for retail therapy today. was really tired.. and really broke.. but i cant stop buying.. argh! wanna smack my hand for signing and signing all my purchases..

finally headed home.. *yawnz*

totally had no inspiration to write.. i remembered that i wanted to write something on my blog.. something significant.. but i cant think now.. i can feel.. my mind... s h u t t i n g d o w n . . .

My Fairy Tale.. Come True..

This is how my fairy tale began..

10 years ago.. while I was meeting my friends at yio chu kang mini bus interchange.. we were supposed to be going to a chalet together.. once I got there.. I saw this really cute and good looking guy seated at one corner around the vicinity..

I kept stealing glances and I was telling pei (my then and now best friend),“hey, that guy very cute hor..” *drooling*.. she didn’t really agree..i guess different people have different definitions of cute or good looking.. we were chatting and laughing all the time while waiting for the rest of the gang to arrive.. but somehow, at the back of my mind.. I keep diverting my eyes to that guy.. seated there.. alone.. so cool looking.. I wondered why he was there alone..

We had a long wait.. and finally when the rest of the gang came.. one of my guy friend then shouted out to him and he came over.. my heart skipped a beat.. he was coming to the chalet with us!! I found out later that he’s from my school!! One year my senior..

Introductions were being made.. and I was grinning with glee.. really excited and I could feel all that adrenaline gushing into my blood.. I almost fainted when he talked to me.. hee..

I found out later that he’s a really funny guy.. everything he said was humorous.. at least it was to me.. I dunno how the others felt tho.. haha.. I remembered him doing an act and getting all of us puzzled.. he started whistling through his teeth.. and all of us were wondering where the whistling came from till he grinned..

He hardly talked.. so cool that it simply so hard to reach out to him.. when I found out the reason why he was here at the chalet with us.. I was crushed.. he was actually one of my friend’s bf.. I never heard her say abt him.. and I didn’t see them close to each other throughout the whole day.. I couldn’t even tell they were a couple.. then another friend told me that they were on the rocks..

He didn’t stay for the whole chalet.. left the very next day.. but we played billiard together (my first time playing billiard) among a group of friends.. and we chatted for one whole night till dawn..4 of us.. pei and me, and this other guy friend.. he was really funny.. and kept me intrigued with the things he would say.. I kinda fell in love with him more as each min passes.. and when he left.. I was really upset.. tried to talk him out from going.. but he wouldn’t stay..

I kept in contact with him after the chalet.. found out then that the relationship was off.. called on him to find out if he’s feeling ok.. from then.. we chatted through the nights for many days…he was working at marina square during the hols.. and I would make a trip there just to accompany him for lunch.. one night.. I decided to express to him my feelings.. and somehow.. we got together for a while..

Its was nearing Christmas time when we got together.. and I spent the most memorable Christmas with him alone.. we were star gazing.. lying on the grass at raffles place.. it was a silent night.. and beautiful night.. traces of confetti that we threw at each other still remains in my hair.. we were chasing each other when the clock struck 12pm.. with the confetti spray.. so much fun I had..

Good things don’t last.. I dunno what happened.. the very next day.. he decided that we were not meant to be together.. I was heartbroken.. but there’s nothing I could do.. but I kept in contact with him..

Since then.. every time it nears Christmas.. I’ll get upset.. I’ll cry when I hear “Last Christmas” being played in the malls.. over the radio..

Life still went on.. but I didn’t give other guys a chance for some time.. each day in school.. I’ll continue to steal glances at him… purposely walk pass his classroom to steal a peak at him…

We both happened to be in the art class and I was really glad when I found out.. we share the same art room.. same art teacher.. and with the O level art project.. I see him in the art room pretty often.. and tho we brush past each other pretty often.. we hardly talk…so near, yet so far.. he knows.. that I still likes him… in fact.. all my friends knew.. and as I found out much later in life.. he described it as.. “the whole school knows!”

I would appear around him as best as I could.. if he is playing basketball, then I’ll drag my friends to the study area near it and pretend to be chatting there or doing my work…

Soon we graduated and I would try to keep in contact with him.. I’ll send him messages of concern to his pager.. send him greeting at all festive seasons.. Deepavali included.. haha. At times, he would call back and we would chat..

I remembered the day I graduated.. he took my o level certificate home with him.. he helped me laminate it.. of coz.. I was jumping with joy.. that means I’ll get to see him again to get back my cert..

We went to different poly.. and he got into a course that he didn’t really liked.. but he worked hard and I would always send messages to encourage him.. even tho I was playing a fool in my classes and playing truant all the time.. we still kept in contact, meeting for an occasional dinner/supper or movie..

I still remembered that there was once we both decided to visit the night safari.. it was funny coz he came back with a limp.. he fell and sprained his ankle.. haha.. such sweet memories.. such fun times.. yet, not lasting..

As time passes.. we got on with our lives.. I was very much involved in school activities, running for elections.. and getting involved in all the orientation programs, busy planning and attending meetings for business studies club.. and I partied hard.. and somehow.. we hardly contacted each other, except my occasional messages to him..

We drifted far apart..i never had the chance to meet him on the streets.. friends would often come and tell me that they have met him on the streets.. so many of them.. but I have only met him once.. and till this very day.. I still remember where I met him and the very surroundings and settings… we hardly talk.. just a passing hi and he was gone.. I began to wonder if we didn’t have the fate.. my friends would see him so many times.. and yet.. I never had much chance to.. at least not often..

There are many silly things that i have done.. and at times, it simply brings a smile to my face, just thinking about it. I used to wish.. on all occasions, as often as i could that we would be together some day in the future.. I would make the same wish over and over again on my birthdays.. I wish at every opportunity i get.. i'll even make the wish when i lose an eye lash and blow it away.. hoping that the wind will bring my wish away.. and be heard.. It's seems childish... but it kinda bring hope to me each time.. and i patiently waited for that one day..

Then came this fateful day.. I was partying at zouk.. I saw him!! My heart fluttered and I went over to talk to him.. That night, we shared a cab home together.. he sent me home first despite him staying in amk and me, in yishun.. after that incident.. we got a little closer… met up more often.. and caught many movies together..

One day, he called to ask a favour. I was to be his friend’s date for this officer passing out dinner… I didn’t wanna disappoint him, so I agreed.. (tho I don’t even know his friend) I went out with his friends.. get acquainted with his friends.. and my supposedly “date” for the dinner..

Then we went shopping for a gown.. I was embarrassed to have him catch me wearing a evening gown.. I tried a few and finally decided on the one I should buy.. and it was fun shopping with him..

Then came this fateful day.. 5 years ago.. we got together again.. we have come so far in these 5 years.. through all the ups and the downs.. gone through many rough patches.. and I’m really thankful that we have come so far together..

Dar, I can never thank you enough for everything that you have done… I thank you for being there for me (tho not all the time..haha), I thank you for your understanding at times, for imparting me knowledge about people, about life.. your values.. thank you for moulding me into who I am today.. for being so patient at times.. for loving me despite all my nasty temper, the harsh words that I sometimes blurt out before thinking.. thank you for giving me a glimpse of our future..and for working so hard.. I enjoy all the stuff that we have done together and all the joy that you have brought into my life.. and I truly, enjoy your companionship. Thanks for everything.

Semi-state of shock..

Something really big happened at work today..my marketing department buddy was "asked to leave".. I was shocked..

It took me a long while to register the fact that she, in fact is leaving the very min.. packed her stuff and all..

I was feeling torn.. one side, i dunno if i should be happy that i wasnt the one being asked to leave.. on the other side, im sad to see her go.. and at the back of my head was.. "will it happen to me sometime soon?"

i landed in the state of fear.. now, the inexperience monkey (that's me) will head all of angie's A&P, manage all joint promotions and be the only solo person in the marketing department.. on top of that.. the retail outlets.. the retail management.. sponsorships.. corporate accounts.. sales.. (oh.. i happen to be the in-house designer too..) argh, can i manage?

Many assured that i can do it.. I thank them for their confidence in me.. but my confidence has been shattered just days ago... im not too sure of myself now.. not so sure about my work... not so sure where i should be heading and my future looks bleak.. not sure how i should pick myself up from where i am and proceed to the journey ahead..

challenges are interesting, but i'm no longer game for them. at least for now.. this has been a big shock to me..

i need to gather my thoughts.. think about what i have to do and get done..

for now, i intend to get things off my mind and do something i enjoy.. let tomorrow worry by itself for the moment.. got to get over the shock.

Trials & Tribulations..

Many things have happened around me recently.. i hadnt taken much notice of it till today.. right after an incident happened at work.. I was really upset..

After hearing from jac & mich that they both got into some form of accident and suffered stitches.. the first thing that went on my mind (after making sure they were alright..) was.. is it going to be my turn?? No accidents requiring stitches as happened to me as yet.. but im going through tough patches in my life..

I just heard from anthony that he broke his thumb at work and has been on MC for 3 weeks.. and he has been posted to a new ship.. and the working environment isnt nice.. its sets me thinking.. at times in life.. things doesnt go the way you expect it to be.. and things at times so so beyond our control that we, can only learn to adapt and emerge from it as a "winner"..

In today's episode, i thanked mich for being there for me.. i thanked wei for showering me with concern amidst his busy schedule..

I do hope to find a new me tomorrow when i wake.. a brand new perspective of life..

Wong wOng wOng..xiaO mi FonG... BUSY beE!!

my work load has been piling.. i think im over loaded.. no matter how hard i try to clear my stuff.. i'm always given more stuff to do.. my marketing partner left for bangkok on thursday for vacation.. will be on leave till next wed.. and in the meanwhile.. im in distress... she left with uncompleted biz and i got to clear it up for her.. caught in a bomb yesterday for a matter than i didnt even know about and was asked to solve it.. today, another big bomb came my way when i was about to head home at 2.15pm.. i'm supposed to be on half day.. and sadly, i'm still in the office clearing my work..

This fateful call came.. and i realised that my colleague forgot to give this customer of ours.. 300 slices of cake.. for their event!! and i have to deliver 300 slices to bishan before 3pm! it would have been easy.. but im not allowed to drive the truck.. no drivers in the office.. could have taken a cab, but 300 slices was way too much for my load.. as every min passes.. i got more frantic.. and of coz, kena scolding too, from my production crew.. 300 slices takes a long time to make.. feeling like shit.. i got to clear up this mess, and yet at the same time kena scolding from so many when its not my fault at all!

waited for freddie to come from bukit merah.. and the customer kept calling me..i dunno how to answer the calls.. it just keeps ringing.. and i simply dont have an explanation for it. felt really sucky..

freddie finally came after slightly over half an hr, quickly loaded all the stuff and headed off... the traffic lights werent in our favor most of the time.. argh! it's so frustrating.. phone keeps ringing.. (i dun dare to answer..) answer once every 3 times it rang and i apologised with some excuse...

finally reached.. almost 4pm. Shit. event over. crowd no more. damn! felt really sucky.. anyway, i was told it wasnt my fault and i should feel bad about it.. but somehow or rather.. it has affected me.. :(

right after that, i headed for some retail therapy. Needed to buy a new pair of heels. i broke my heels 2 days ago while chasing the bus.. managed to catch the bus, but couldnt board.. cos heels broke just right before i boarded!! So malu! so many people at the bus stop staring at me.. argh.. i had to stare back at the bus driver (who was waiting for me to board), bent down to pick my broken heels up.. and headed home with just one side of the heels on my feet and the other in my hand, dangling.

Way home was also embarassing.. nicely dressed and no heels in one foot.. walked home and gained many glances.. i wonder if they are all secretly laughing at me..

Anyway, i bought a new pair of heels.. so happy.. coz shopping always perks me up, no matter what.. but my stomach isnt happy. its been growling since 10am and i havent eaten anything.. since the last before.. and in fact, i didnt remember having dinner.. headed home and it was already 4.30pm...cooked noodles to satisfy the hunger pangs..

Oh, here are more photos of my graduation, courtesy of michie's & qunyu's camie..

Graduation photos!!

i had a hell lot of trouble uploading this picture!! I uploaded it at least 6 times.. (i seriously think its more than that!!) and i even got mich to try it out to see it works..

after 3 days of troubleshooting the photo.. i finally found out the reason.. i accidentally created it in cmyk mode! Grrr.. Stupid me.. no wonder i keep seeing red "x"s each time i try to view the pics! Anyway, converted it to rgb and it works!! so, here's the photos.. more to come.. but need to shift the photos from my bro's computer back to my own.. remember to check for photo updates!