a search for character.. seeking meaning of life.. losing naivete in the process..

Sucky morning..

I'm feeling damn tired BUT was on time for work only to find people spoiling my day. urgh! how to feel motivated this way? *sobs*

chanced upon this quiz while surfing friend's fren's blogs.. decided to give it a try..

Your EQ is

87 50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick! 51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese. 71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely. 91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that. 111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt. 131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin. 150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

Relaxing weekend..

spent the whole sat afternoon sleeping away and stayed home all day. was packing my room in the night till 7.30am in the morning before i headed for bed..

here are some of the shots that i took of my new hairstyle.. =)



i slept for 4 hours plus.. and headed for Kenny's gor house to play mahjong! here are my cousins and my mahjong khakis for the day..



headed for dinner at sakae and chatted abt our family.. the cousins.. the stuff we used to do when we were kids.. and trying to figure out our family tree.. *sigh* its a complicated family.. but it was fun and i was laughing away the whole day.. :P

anyway, headed home and here i am blogging after i have finished my homework for tomorrow's lesson.. am really tired.. think its time for bed.. good nite to all..
*blow kisses*

tiring days..

I woke at 8.30am with a bugging headache today. Yes, that's the time im supposed to report to work. Struggled to the bathroom and feeling lethargic as i prepared myself for the new day. So, as people usually comment abt me.. "as usual". i reached about 9.30am and was feeling really stoned.

I didnt have sufficient sleep in the last few days. I slept at 4+ on thursay nite. Don't ask me what i was doing. If im feeling good and had nothing better to do, i would have a sane snough mind to head for bed. obviously i wasnt.. so it leads to a tiring friday..

Was out last nite with wenjing & shuyu yet again. Don't ask me why i went despite being tired. There are no whys. Just wanted to head out and have some fresh air. To take my mind off loads of things and just chat nonsensically.. or do whatever there could be done out there.

today, yet another sucky day i work. I no longer find motivation in my job. it's a bad sign and i know that. time to head home, but im waiting for my colleague to come out from the conference room. i hate staying back for work nowadays. i just don't feel worth it.

wanted to swim but my swimming buddies had their aunties visiting them. wanted to play badminton but no one is free or the timing's not right. decided to head home to clear my room and sleep. I'm free today! anyone wanna date me?

beep me alright? *waiting*

busy day..

Im gonna have a busy day ahead, but the sad thing is im feeling really unwell. I didnt have dinner last nite and went to bed feeling really hungry coz there wasnt anything left in the fridge to eat.. and now that i think back.. i virtually forgot that there were instant noodles.. I must be really tired..

I'm still feeling hungry now.. and on top of that, a bad stomachache, a badly inflammed throat, a super tired body and tired eyes. anyone can help me get out of this rut?

I had fun last nite.. decided to meet up with wj and sy to "destress" a little..halfway through the karaoke, i went off to snip my hair! those who have saw me with the new haircut says its short, compared to what it used to be. I look a little nerdy now. not used to my new hair cut. Will upload a photo of the cut when i have the time (hopefully tonight!)

I got to rush off from the office in a while's time. Got a tenants' meeting at Hougang mall today at 10.30am.. then i got to head down to pines club to collect a bouquet of flowers, and then head back to the office for photoshoot, then settle down and finish my work. Got a msg from jac this morning asking me to meet her. Im still deciding whether i should. Rest seemed to be a little more important on my schedule, but i do have something to pass to her tho. i brought the stuff out.. so, i will decide later when the time is nearer.

Okie, got to clear my emails and head out of the office soon. To whoever is reading my blog, please don't miss my presence! *skips off*

Oh oh.. anyone will be in town (Orchard) during lunch time?? Do give me a beep.. i'm looking for a lunch partner in town today.. *grinz*

falling asleep..

has anyone got any cure for the urge to sleep right after food? I feel so lethargic.. am tired and want to curl up with my doggie and head for bed. I miss my bed so much now!

for once in a long time, i decided to listen to class 95 instead of Yes 93.3 for a change. heard many songs that reminds me of my younger days.. such memories.. like mambo night and stuff.. *grinz* i suddenly feel so OLD! gawd.. *pulls my hair and drop my jaws*

im gonna have mid 20s life crisis.. haha.. sounds serious? i deem it is! *sob* i dun wanna grow old.. Help me.. any anti anging products to recommend anyone?

wj & sy asked me to head for karaoke tonight.. i.. dunno whether i want to go.. half of me want to go badly.. the other half.. so tired.. and then.. i'm still thinking abt the consequences if i were to go...

*dilemna*

bored!

I came home early tonight.. hoping to destress myself by playing minesweeper online with someone.. but.. but.. NONE of my usual opponents are online. and i really mean NONE!

Gawd.. that's so sad, aint it? can someone just imagine my disappointment? my whole list of msn contacts.. so long, yet, i cant find someone to play with? Eddie - if you are reading this.. nah.. i dun wanna trouble you to log onto the net and just play minesweeper with me. =)

i'm so bored. really bored. wondering what i should do and decided to play with my mobile phone.. *grinz* and maybe revise my 3rd language later should i still have the time.

yoga class was great today.. i dun feel much ache tho.. does that mean im getting better? ha! it better be!

Oops.. i better stop blogging and finish what i set out to do.. i dont wanna have another late night..

rest..

i declared mc yesterday.. wasnt feeling too well.. throat a little inflammed and i definitely didnt have enough sleep. im trying to get my life straight. my room is in a terrible mess and i dont have time to do it. my laundry piling and i also dun have time to wash them. i hardly get enough sleep. i think its time i should get my priorities right. *sigh*

Went back into the office yesterday despite being on MC. got a meeting and did some work before rushing out for my language class.. I didnt revise the whole of last week and the class was terrible.. i had listening comprehension and i did very badly.. 3 weeks ago.. i had near full marks.. now its near failing.. i got 13/22 yesterday.. kinda upsetting. looks like i got to spend more time at home revising my work.

I just had lunch and am so full.. im growing fatter by the day. simply refused to step on the weighing machine to upset myself further. time to get some work done.. and so looking forward to yoga classes tonite.. so that i can work on my abs and get more toned.. *grinz*

knots in my heart..

i'm feeling frustrated at this very moment. very frustrated in fact. i dunno how i should descibe my feeling, but its so sucky that im ready to hit someone up.

i guess the only way for me to ease my frustrations is to blog, and here i am hitting hard and away on this poor little keyboard.

why issit that life is so complicated at times? why is it that it cant be a simple affair where everyone knows that's going on everywhere? what exactly is the word trust? what happens when u feel that you might have been betrayed? why is it so hard to learn to trust? why do people have secrets? why is the need for secrets?

it's a long weekend and im not happy. i got to work tomorrow.. I'm supposed to be off, but i decided to be kind and help a colleague who have arranged a trip and have to apply for a day's leave should i not change my schedule with him. it makes me wonder, should i be kind? why cant the rest of the people out there be kind? so what if im kind? i seemed to end up being unhappy in other aspects of life.

at this very spur of the moment.. i suddenly feel like going clubbing.. and drown my sorrows in drinks.. and forget what the world is about and forget abt all that's on my mind.. but is that possible? will i do it? why aint i the happy go lucky person i used to be anymore?

is there a price to pay for everything? im so confused. i feel like breaking down. i feel like hiding. urgh!

time to relax..

the whole office has been so tense recently, with so many auditors from KPMG popping over all the time. they aint really friendy people ya know? *sigh*

they just left together with joseph and it means.. the tense mood is gone!

saw this quizzy on michie's lj and decided to do it also!

1. Wallet/ Purse :: some ulu brand, ozozo from the wallet shop

2. Bag(s) :: the last time jiahui & yihui counted, there were 100+ of them. i don't think i can remember them all..

3. Slippers/Shoes :: loads as well, the last 30 pairs i bought were mostly from charles & keith

4. Sports Shoe :: diesel, adidas, nike i have them all..

5. School Uniform :: har? past that age liao leh!

6. Cap :: nike's!

7. Notebook / computer :: har? let's call it the CHERRY brand coz i built it myself..

8. Handphone :: nokia 7610.. still figuring how to use.

9. Bracelet(s) :: dun like, dun wear, dun fancy. own one from disneyworld tho..

10. Pen :: i LOVE stationery.. all sorts.. those who know me well would know how huge my collection is. currently very infatuated with ballsign at work.

11. A4 Paper :: double A and all sorts of art paper..

12. Clock :: one from ikea, one from Ooosch! (non-existing anymore)

13. Shampoo :: Loreal, keratase, redken.. since its free.. *grins*

14. Shower Gel / Soap :: shokubutsu

15. Toothbrush :: oral b

16. Bedsheet :: ikea and polo ralph!

17. Television :: sony, but no tv in my room.. dun really fancy tv..

18. Mp3 Player / Radio :: dun have mp3 player.. my bro's ipod can count? radio = hp

19. Fan / Air-cond :: cannot remember what brand (i'm @ work!), aircon by sanyo.

20. Eye Shadow :: clinique, i novi, red earth.. but i HARDLY use. thinking of throwing already.

21. Lip Gloss :: body shop, red earth and clinique

22. Foundation :: dont use leh

23. Perfume / cologne :: miracle by lancome, cool water by davidoff, pleasures by estee lauder & white musk by body shop

24. Nail Polish :: wah.. got at least 40 bottles, mostly from sally hansen, relvon, loreal, u.g.n.y, maybelline..

25. Toothpaste :: oral B for sensitive teeth

26. Body Moisturiser :: Jergens ultra dry/cherry almond

27. Glasses / Contact lenses :: eh dun need as yet. perfect eyesight leh!

28. Pencil Case :: a lot also, mesh ones, cloth ones.. i own them all. Mostly from muji and esprit de corps

29. Watch :: swatch x 5, Baby G x 1, Casio x 3, Titus x 2 & my fav philippe starck!!

30. Tracksuit :: the last one i own was from asics

31. Travel Bag :: deuter, samsonite

32. Jeans :: levi's, mango.. tat's all i got!

33. Pyjamas :: i dun wear.. but i dun go sleep naked!

34. Shirt :: eh.. a well mix of different brands.. polo, tommy, G2000, U2 and cant remember..

35. Cigarettes :: didnt i mention that i hate smoking!! 2nd hand smoke - marlboro lights

36. Mosq spray :: dun use.

37. Room Freshener :: dun have.. live in pig sty so got also no use.. hahaha

38. Hair gel / Wax :: gatsby, wella and loreal's

Wah.. finally done.. took me half an hour.. so restless liao.. I'm so happy i dun have to work tomorrow!! YIPEE!! *jumps around in office*

Gonna meet wenjing + david, shuyu + chee keong, ivy + alvin and maybe wei for sweet chicken porriage at Geylang later.. but.. they meeting at 9+.. i wonder what i should do during the time in between.

Im freaking bored and broke. no more shopping for me for the rest of the month and i havent bought my new year clothes!

*pouts*

Oh, i'm an angel!

was so bloated after lunch and decided to do a little quiz to amuse myself.

and oh, i happened to be angelic. *evil grinz*


Youth


?? Which Angel Or Demon Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

flowers..

anyone who knows a florist to recommend to me? I need some tiny floral arrangements for the coming valentine's day! pop me a comment with the contact details if you know any!

thanks so much!

Friends?

i cant seemed to find friends on livejournal! anyone has a livejournal account? add me!! as usual, the nickie is cherieladie.

i need some friends there.. :(

livejournal?

I tried my hands at livejournal..its so foreign to me. anyway, i posted my first ever entry there and took me a long time to format and change the colors. Those of you who are interested may check it out here.

guess what? i might consider keeping both my lj and my blog. like the blog coz can have many links by the side but like lj coz i can post locked entries.. *grins*

i'm falling asleep. someone perk me up please!

garfield eyes..

i know i haven been blogging for the whole week.. im so tired each day by the time i reach home..

It's finally friday tomorrow and im definitely looking towards it.. i dun have to work this coming sat.. so it means a longer weekend and im hoping for much more rest.

- keeping my fingers and toes crossed -

shopped a little at far east today.. but didnt buy anything. was there too yesterday with mich & jon and bought all that i liked.. popped over to nooch at wheellock and had laughs over silly things that jac & me will say once we are together..

walked around a bit at Zara and DFS before heading home.. gawd.. im so tired that im ready to hit the bed.. goodnite everyone..

thanks for reading my little bloggie..

life still goes on..

for once in a long time, i didnt reach work late.. wow! im impressed with myself. haha. havent been doing "morning runs" for a long time.. and i decided to ran after the bus today.

i had a busy morning.. i hate mornings in my office.. have to rush everything out before the logistics guys leave the office..

i had a pleasant surprise from wei last nite.. and i really appreciate his kind gesture.. *touched* looks like im receiving loads of love from all out there.. but hey, i know im attractive.. hahah *pukes*

anyone out there who wants to shower me with more attention?

im gonna have a packed week.. looking forward to the yoga classes tonight.. i wanna relax.. and achieve peace.. haha.

here's my schedule for the week:
konban (tonight) - yoga classes
sui yobi ban (wed nite) - meeting mich for dindin (jac, wanna hop along?)
muko yobi ban(thurs nite) - meeting jac & suleen for dindin
kin yobi ban(fri nite) - no activities yet

okie. got to get my work done. have to leave work early again today.. :)

Swinging Mood Indicator..

Im breaking into grins one moment and putting on a frown the next moment.. Im in confusion.. i think only chiew yen knows why.. Im so tired.. but yet feeling alert the next moment..

what the hell is wrong with me today?

will someone send me some love and hugs? *waiting*

updated - 12.55pm

Michie's the first to send me hugs & loves!! check it out!



Shuyu's the second.. sent me her regards via sms.. :)

feeling lost..

for once in the last 15 days.. i finally had some quiet times for myself. here i am, sitting right in front of my computer, hearing the rain patter outside the windows.. i think i have lost myself.. i lost my sense of direction.. i lost my goals.. I am beginning to think who i really am.. what do i really want to become?

i ushered the new year in at a club at hyatt hotel in kuantan.. Though i tried to let my hair down and enjoy myself that night.. i was filled with doubts.. my mind was elsewhere while i was partying.. and half the time.. my brain filled with questions.. questions that i have no answer to. darn! i feel so insecure not knowing the answers..

2004 had been a sad and tough year for me, and coupled with the tsunami incident.. i cant seemed to end it with a happy note and welcome the new year in excitement. Just days before the accident happened, wei & i were discussing abt a trip to thailand.. and probably phuket during the last week of the year.. wei had a free ticket + accommodation for 2 nights and only upon realising that wei's ticket cannot be used for public holiday's eve, we aborted the plan. i'm a little glad that we didnt decide to go. its been almost 2 weeks.. and news on the tragedy keeps flashing almost everywhere i go.. death tolls going up everyday.. 1 of wei's company's GM was there together with some other colleagues.. all was fine and safe, but the GM didnt didnt survive it.. the company is now a little chaotic with the loss..

i remembered that back in 2001.. when 911 happened.. i was scheduled for a trip to New York with my aunt and was supposed to arrive on 10th of sept.. i was so excited abt the trip (coz i have never been to new york) and had the flights reservation and itinerary pinned at the wall right beside my work desk (back in the days @ Techmex). i applied for leave but was not approved by my manager.. i was crushed when i knew i couldnt go.. but when 911 happened, i was so relieved that it was a blessing in disguise for me.. i would have been trapped there.. i still remembered that my aunt decided to fly to singapore that day to have her hols here when i couldnt go to new york and was stuck at the airport for a long time.. only to be told there arent any flights flying out. I was so relieved that my aunt wasnt on the plane that crashed.. i can still remember how worried i was.. when my mum woke me and told me abt the incident in the middle of the night.

such tragedies dent my memories of the beautiful world i tried to picture in my mind.. each time i watch the news abt the tsunami.. tears will well in my eyes.. and i have avoided the news since then.. not knowing is a blessing somehow..

for many months.. i have this void in my heart.. and for many months.. i have chose to ignore it.. i buried myself in my work.. signed up for classes to occupy myself.. but the feeling's still not right. other than achieving the effect of straining my physical self and health.. it hasnt helped anyway to make my life a better one to lead. I cant forsee what will happen in the next 2 years.. i feel lost.. i cant tell whether my heart is right or my mind is right. i cant seemed to set my priorities straight anymore.. even if i do.. my body, my mind, my soul and my heart doesnt sing a synchronised song.

i started yoga classes on tuesday.. i do hope it will help me get my life back in order or at the very least.. find peace within myself.. i feel so drained.. rest is something that i need so much..

i added something to the list of description that describes me.. i was telling jac the other day that i love it when people shower me with attention.. it just brightens up my day somehow.. whoever it is out there.. it made me ponder on why i seek people's attention.. i came to only one conclusion.. a simple logic.. what i seek is what i lack.. just like the poor seeking to be rich.. the ugly seeking to be pretty..

at this very moment.. i feel like playing minesweeper.. but my usual opponents aint online. feeling a little bored.. in fact, lonely.

Venturing into a new year..

For the first time in my life (or that i remembered), i spent New Year's Day abroad with frens.. in our neighbouring country up north..

Here are some of the pictures that i took.. spent a long time compiling them.. its time for bed.. so i shall blog another day.. before i become the sickie cherie again..

good nite to all!