a search for character.. seeking meaning of life.. losing naivete in the process..

mental and physical strained out..

everything has been such a whirl in the last 2 days that the little girl in me is being forced to grow up instantly.

things has hit me so fast that i hardly can breathe. i cant go to work, and i have to be there when people needs me. i'm actually on the verge of nervous breakdown. i have never ever felt so tired and i cant even close my eyes to rest. my tears has never stung me so hard and yet, i have to hold them back and put up a strong front. i havent ate a decent meal as yet in the last 48 hours.. in fact, i didnt even have a meal. only biscuits and some bread to curb my hunger pangs.

although being the youngest in the situation, suddenly everyone around me seemed to act like kids. i can only say it has shocked them so much, and hit them so hard that they simply lost it and became nonsensical, and as much as i want to be like that too, i cant. i got to be there to make sure everyone goes through it well. i want to break down and sob, but it wont bring the situation any better. i can only start sobbing behind closed doors, where no one can hear me, or see me.

in the last 2 days.. all my priorities changed in the instant things hit me. its amazing isnt it? its not a choice. i hadnt had a choice.

it is in situations like this that i realise.. everything else seemed so minor. the things that i used to get angry about, i dont even have the time to bother about it now. it is in situations like this.. that i realise.. the amount of really nice and caring friends that i have. willing to lend help even tho they have not a single clue what is going on.

friends, those who has sms, msn, call me, talked to me.. you have made such an impact on my life that i truly appreciate it loads. your simple msg simply brings a cheer to my face and a flash of sunshine in my gloomy days.

the worst is yet to be over. i see more heart-wrenching days ahead, but for this moment, at least i can stop a while and take a breather.

my advise for the day, always think before you act. a moment of folly is not worth whatever's coming up ahead and start planning your financials before you find yourself in a situation that you get so lost about.

i might not blog as often anymore. it depends on how the situation goes..

it seems like end of the world now..

I was awoken to loud voices this morning. I woke and found many unfamilar faces in my house at 7+ in the morning. it took me a while to realise.. that my last pillar of support that i needed badly now has been taken away. my world is shattered.. and the pieces are all over that i cant piece them back alone.

as much as i wanna remain strong for those who needs me.. the girl in me wants to cry out loud. why? why must all the sad/unhappy/bad things all happen at the same time? im bewildered. i can feel myself trembling hard inside, but trying to put up a strong front outside. i think, i might have given myself away coz i was trembling so hard. I can feel the tears stinging my eyes and im willing it back. i wish i had someone to go to, but no one else is left and i couldnt get wei on the phone.

thought of just staying at home and not heading for work. but as i stood there, i came to a decision to head for work nonetheless. I'll need my leave very soon in the next couple of days or weeks and i cant afford to waste it.

i'm in a daze and i still cant believe what i saw this morning. i wish i could turn back the time. it's all like an unbelieveable story. I wish i have more people to turn to, i wish things would just remain the same as they have always been. i wish, i could have all the people close to my heart back with me in my house.

will there be light at the end of the tunnel? i feel defeated, especially when i think about the tough road ahead.

Quake + upsetting news..

heard about the quake last night and it got my aunt (the one in seattle) all jittery about it. my mum, she's on a cruise somewhere out in the sea, heading towards melacca area and im not sure if she's fine since i couldnt get her on her mobile (no network) and she hasnt called me as yet.

this afternoon, the same aunt told me abt my grandpa being admitted into hospital in Kluang. it made my view of the office murky when i heard it. its sounds quite bad, and it's supposed to be some heart related problem. my grandpa was in hospital alone and no one was with him and he had to take a cab there himself with swollen legs. knowing that he always downplay his illness, it made me even more worried.

dwelling on the matter only made things worst. i lost the mood to work and had the sudden urge of dumping everything im doing, take half a day's leave and head home for my passport and head to grandpa's home. the only thing that held me back was..i dun have a car to drive UP! and its too inaccessible via public transport.. and i'm like an ant on a hot pan.. getting frantic with my wild imagination.

i had to make a call to talk to my aunt in KL to find out more details and make sure that someone is there looking out for grandpa, and it was only then that i felt a little better.

thanks to all those that talked to me, comforted me and kept my imagination at bay.
appreciate it loads. im feeling much much at ease now. grandpa's gonna see a specialist doctor in JB tomorrow.. so im praying that nothing major will happen till he sees the doc tomorrow. *keeping my fingers crossed*

i went for my last yoga class tonight, and no, im have no intention to continue into the intermediate level as yet. its too far and inconvenient for me to take it in toa payoh.. i'll take it again somewhere near my house when i get my jap straight first. now, its hard juggling both on consecutive days and its really really tiring.

dinner was just a simple bread. supposed to be 2, but i donated one of it to my brother. i remember having something in mind to blog about, but as i was msning with my friends.. and updating my brother abt my grandpa, i forgot what i wanted to blog about initially. argh. guess im simply too tired.

it's time to visit the sandman now. retiring to my cool little room. nite nite.

kindergaRDen..

was talking to eddie last night and he mentioned that i own a kindergarden. note: it's a garden, not garten! anyway, he's trying to say i have a kiddish blog and i am very much like a kid and yes! i agree totally.

i must be deeply influenced by my brother who has worked in toy 'r' us for at least 10 years during my growing up years.. you know, their advertising jingles.."i dun wanna grow up.. i am a toys r us kid!" and i even have those exclusive t-shirts that says the exact same thing and still have them today. haha.

most of the time, i think being a kid is a fortunate thing. even tho i dont have a pretty childhood to reminicse about, i missed the days where the world seemed a much better place to live in through the eyes of a little innocent being. the evils of human-doings aint showing as bluntly as the way i see them now and best of all, hardly any worries except on how to escape that cane in my mum's hands. that, now that i think of it, could be the reason why i ran so fast and became part of the school athletes team.

tho it's aint very much possible to stay young and innocent all the time, especially with the demands of the working world.. i'm trying to preserve a little bit of that innocence when it comes to other things, like my blog.

snoozing already..

eyelids getting so heavy that im struggling to blink them open.

body's aching and everyone is telling me to go to bed.

good nite frens.. i'll promise i'll find more time to blog soon.

Dragging a heavy heart around...

Another month nearing its end. The weekend had been quite a boring one. Spent good friday staying indoors the whole day, sat helping wei to do his project and sunday roaming the streets of orchard road alone in the afternoon and meeting janice for snooker in amk during the evening.

life seemed to be full of turns and twists when the least expected news hits your face like a huge wave closing in. it's been a hard close to the end of last week and a bad start today with a heavy heart.

i cant seemed to find anything happy about to make me feel a little more cheery this morning except that i finally heard from ant after a week of silence.

mum's away on a cruise and i wont be having home-cooked lunches for this week. starting to miss her already.

got a new staff in the office today.. so i've decided to keep my blog entry short. will try to update when i get a chance to.

an entry in jap

わたしはきょうぢこもいきません
にほんごのしゅくだいをしました

wow. its so hard. wonder how im going to pass my exam in EXACTLY 2 weeks time.

hot hot hot!

it's such a hot day that it has turned cherie into a grumpy little girl.

as much as i want to hide in the comfort of my air-conditioned room, i do want to stay in the hot living room to use my computer as well. such an irony. if only, i have wireless broadband this very moment.

it's almost 9pm and i havent heard from wei. the day seemed to pass by so quick, that i havent seemed to have enjoyed myself except for lunch this afternoon. *willing for the phone to ring*

my little pet hamster doesnt seemed to be feeling the heat. she's running and running non-stop on her wheel and creating so much noise that i can hear it from my room! quite an active one. like owner, like pet! haha.

feeling so lethargic! argh! feel like singing karaoke tho. i need to get out of the house!

Cheriecherielady... clone?

I found out the most peculiar thing this morning! someone that i dunno, linked me up on her bloggie.. i scanned through a couple of entries and decided that she didnt look familiar. but i also realised that she, owns the blog named cheriecherielady.

i never would have thought someone actually would have the interest to link my blog up (with the exception of the people i actually know), since all i write here are rambling of my daly boring life and buckets-full of complaints with my half-past-six english. sometimes, i cant even spell well now that im out of school and no longer a student!

it's quite a boring day in the office with only 2 people working. 1 is on leave and i wonder where the other went... *sigh*

what a gay day!

I'm feeling good today.. for once in a long time, early morning at work? I woke up feeling tired as usual, but decided to dress to pamper myself. So, i came to work in a tube with a flower laced brooch, a new beige 3/4 pants that i bought last weekend, my newest pair of vnc shoes and a off white shawl draped over my shoulders. not that it looked anything spectacular(even tho im gorgeous most of the time), but it just made me feel good and i would say, it's quite elaborate considering the industrial place (with all the lorries zooming pass outside on the roads) that i work in and in comparison to what my colleagues would usually wear.

someone is on leave for the morning and that's prob. made my morning into a even better one. If i'm a bird, i'm sure the people around me will hear me chirping loudly. hee.

yesterday was a welcoming change for a weekday. despite the fact that i SKIPPED yoga, i wasn't a bit guilty about it! i had a date with wei.. and yes, im overjoyed. we met at plaza sing, waited in the starhub queue for eons and was upset that ichiban sushi was closed (to think i just went there to dine with michie less than 2 weeks ago!), still, it didnt spoil my day. i guess its due to wei's company.

I feel worried for wei. he's flying off to japan next weekend for a week (for work) and he has so many classes and projects to manage and the deadlines are crashing with his trip and to top it all, he has to attend RT as well since he was injured the last time he took his IPPT. i can feel his desperation at the way things are going at work and study, and the fact that both of it are draining him.. i just hope that he'll be able to pull it off. i prob will break down and cry if i were him.. with 3 projects on hand to complete before he flies off and whole day intensive classes over the coming weekend, and 2 hair shows on top of his normal lessons. that, is a huge stress for him to manage and it also puts me out of his schedule. haha.. but, i'll grit my teeth and be the understanding gf and dream of the day when i'll be invited to his graduation ceremony!

Wow.. i just realised that i spent the whole morning just reeling in my happiness and it's almost lunchtime. got to get some work done now, tho i still have much to say.

am thinking of heading to town tonight for some retail therapy, but im broke! any sponsors out there?

hmm.. ant is finally back in sing! docked last weekend and i wanted to date him tonight, but no reply from him as yet.. oh god, where has my little ant friend went to?

aching body..

am super tired the whole day. fell asleep while in the office today. body aching all over. a sign that it hasnt rested enough. shoulders are aching so much that i feel uncomfortable in any position that im in.

i have decided to turn in early for tonight. as early as my eyes would allow me, but of coz, i was hoping to read a little bit more of the book that im now glued to.

and i guess im so FREAKING tired that i actually wrote 3rd may instead of 5th mar for fish leong's concert. if sally hadnt pointed that out.. i wouldnt have realised it in the stupor that im in..

heading back to my room. good nite world. it's playtime with my sleeping pals.

tiring weekend..

it's been some time since i last updated my blog. i have been occupied with the da vinci code the last few days while im home after work. finally finished it this morning and really enjoyed the book. loads of twists n turns + interesting facts, it got me so glued that i neglected my blog. hee.

gonna read "memoirs of a geisha" by arthur golden next. got the book last monday while strolling in heartland mall waiting for time to pass before heading for my jap class. i just realised i spent quite a fare bit of my disposable income on books this month.. Hmm..

the weekend was tiring as usual since i had to work on saturday morning. spent the afternoon reading da vinci code in wei's house before heading to Expo to meet pei & ray for Disney on ice. err, a little disappointing for me tho. the setting was smaller than i expected it to be and it's really quite similar to those parades/shows that disneyland has round the clock. i guess that's disney's trademark. ha. pei & ray took some photos with their cammie and im waiting for her to send it to me.. so that i can post them here.

the night was spent at partyworld @ shenton way singing away and celebrating david's birthday. Quite an unexpected celebration decided last min, so i didnt bring a cammie along to take photos. headed towards a karaoke pub near SGH after partyworld and it's more drinking + singing.. i was so beat at around 3+ having slept only 3 hours the nite before. slumped into bed near 5am.

it's only a couple of hours later that i woke to the ringing of my phone. my production crew called me at 8.45am on a SUNDAY MORNING!!!! and the thing that angered me most was that it wasnt a matter under my charge and i had to refer him to another colleague. i was SO TIRED!

tried to sleep and i woke up in pain at 12+.. suffered stomach cramps that surged through my body, almost killing me. i rolled in bed for hours, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in. all was in vain and i finally woke up and fumbled in wei's first aid box for panadol. popped one and stayed in bed waiting for pain to go away. only then, did i manage to grab a little more sleep.

woke in the evening and realised the day is almost over. dragged wei out of bed for dinner at J8, a little shopping around and headed back home to do my jap homework. super tired now. anyway, here's some photos for viewing!

shannon finally sent me the photos we took when cheng chieh and mei fen came over to singapore during the chinese new year period...



here's some pictures of the lunches that mum has been cooking for me..



and finally, some pictures of the fish leong's concert that i took...

stoning cherie..

after a hectic lifestyle in the past weeks.. i truely enjoy stoning at home. not having to rush here and there.. and seeing loads of housework (in my room) undone.

i just finished reading the storybook of the current movie Boogeyman yesterday. pretty cool story, but the ending a little abrupt. am waiting to watch the movie with wei.. hopefully can catch it this weekend.. but i'll got to keep my fingers crossed. he's got intensive classes and i hope he wont be too tired after.

i'm now reading the da vinci code by dan brown. a lot of people prob read it already, and i'm jumping into the bangwagon. But, in my viewpoint, it's nothing more than just a novel. i love reading anyway.. STORY books only. heh.

i'm having an internal battle within myself about my job. I guess i really need to sit down and think what i really want for myself in the future. a little lost here and there, but i'm sure. someday, i'll find my way thru.

jap test in less than 3 weeks and i'm having difficulty doing the homework already. looks like i really need to sit down and spend some time studying and revising and practising.

raphael commented to me that he had a good laugh looking at my growing up pictures and i'm sure many of you did too.. especially when some of them are really "chow"-looking. he, also commented that he finally knew when the "boom" period is.. haha. i hope, it has provided some entertainment for you too.

Hmm.. got to go and immerse myself in my story book and temporary forget abt the things in the surroundings. good nite world.

some random facts as of now..

i wonder where the world has gone to. bed i guess. almost 80 people in my msn list and only 15 online. out of them 6 are my family members round the globe, and the rest are TP mates. huh, interesting.

most people read my blog at nite. the numbers on the site meters jumps so much faster as compared to in the day.

i realised a lot of people i know reads my blog.. but no one leaves any comments around. Hmmm.. mysterious lot? or that singaporeans are shy? anyway, i found out moses read my blog too.. and that really came as a surprise to me.

I'm still waiting for wei to call me and tell me his results. don't think i can sleep without hearing it.

Sucky morning..

I had a sucky morning. as much as im not in the mood to breathe a single word, i have to start answering questions the moment i am at the bus stop.

stepped into the office feeling already pissed from the events before, more sucky things befall on me. cy was not here so i had to do her daily ritual of collecting the money from the logistics guys.. then went on to answer questions and ever-demanding requests of my outlet personnels. i seriously do not understand why they do not have the word WAIT in their dictionary? Does it kill them to even wait a day or 2? How can i, someone with only 2 hands and a mind that's constantly working non-stop to accede to their demands -- the production crew, the logistic crew, my superior, my OWN marketing department work, customer service role that was cast upon me without my consent/agreement, the ever pilling accounts department workload, the auditors and on top of that, lend a supporting hand to the telemarketing department? and the bad thing is everyone is constantly breathing down my neck for their stuff and i'm constantly being bugged for thngs that i simply have no time for. why cant they understand? There can only be 1 cherie.

i am so stretched and i dont like it. It's no longer within my means to achieve everything and i gave up trying. i don't really see the point now. i have indeed lost sight of my goals and lost direction of my work. i no longer love working as it wasn't what i wanted to do anymore.

anyway, i gathered much feedback from my friends.. and NONE, encouraged me to stay. Not a single one. i, too believe it's soon to get out of this place.

on a happier note, i heard from ant on friday nite! I was starting to get worried that i havent heard from him for a long time and he didnt reply my smses.. now that i heard from him, i think i can sleep more peacefully at nite.. and he's on his way back!! i'll get to see him real soon and be able to sit down and have a nice chat/meal.

i better stop blogging now. much to do on hand and even as i blog, the workload is constantly at the back of my head.

Anson + Cuiting's Union..

here are some of the photos that i took.. didnt take many.. dunno why! Hurmph!



I wouldnt say i didnt enjoy myself and i wouldnt say it was a perfect night either. the food wasnt really fantastic and considering the price factor, i would say its quite bad.. but, still edible.

the air con was really disappointing.. everyone seemed to be complaining abt the heat.. and the service was worse. everytime my tea cup/water glass is empty.. i had to keep asking for refills. the waitresses/waiters aint friendly at all.. black faces and some of them just threw the plate on the table. duhz! and to think there were only 20 tables!!

it could be that because its shang, my expectations were higher. not that i wasnt there before.. been there many times for events while i was with ap comm, but it's really not even comparable to the services of hyatt and mariott hotel.. *sigh*

anyway, despite the flaws induced by the hotel n its services.. the crowd has been a merry one and i had fun..chatting.. mixing around.. checking out the brides.. downing red wine and chatting with the gang that came from kuantan.

there were many distinguished guest.. mostly business associates of anson and his anson from many countries..(e.g m'sia, china, australia, and i cant remember the rest from the speech of anson's dad) as well as "datok"(s)..

headed up for drinks at BLU right after the dinner.. and i guess the merry mood was so great that it turned the ambience from an enchanting experience to one that's rowdy and merry and plus the fact that there were so many of us!!

drank quite a bit there and decided to bring the kuantan gang to some happening partying places since they played host while we were in kuantan.. wanted to head for chinablack (matches the guests' choice of music), but the queue freaked us out.. so is the same for devils. not wanting to wait, we headed for MS and after popping in a couple of them, they decided to stay at CU. haha.. i guess the bar top dancing was something REALLY interesting for the kuantan crowd. they were kinda mesmerized with it.. kuantan definitely dun have stuff like that!!

it was more fun + merry till wei was carried by one of the guys and they threw him onto the bar top! i had to admit that at that very moment, i kinda felt uncomfortable.. seeing what the dancer did the the guys previously.. i really didnt feel good. but then again.. i decided, its supposed to be a night of fun and casted the uncomfortable feeling aside and enjoy the show.. i got to admit, that wei's pretty sporting and that's prob. one of the reasons that i fell for him.

was really beat then.. so tired after waking at 8am in the morning.. i struggled thru supper and went back to shang to collect wei's car and drove wei's car back home. yes.. i drank and drove. but i was feeling fine, really!

its yet another start of the week in another 8 hours.. and i guess its time for bed now..

Glam queen..

a daniel yam gown, black diamante heels, a twist of hair, finely manicured nails, some blush and a touch of gloss.. i'm ready for the grand dinner at shangri la tonight. Oh, i forgot. AND a red packet.

gonna bring along my cammie and snap some shots of selena (the pretty bride!!) and mr anson zai.. and of cos.. not forgetting the guests (casey + fei mao) who came all the day down from kuantan to attend the wedding!!

I got to go now! got to drop some stuff at wei's house and then pop by to fetch the rest of the girls..

2nd Attempt..

Last nite.. i tried to log into blogspot.. doesnt seemed to work for a while and i finally decided to post my journal on my livejournal instead..

after i finished with livejournal, i checked on blogspot and it seemed to working fine.. and i went on to type a chunk of frustrations about not being able to blog here in my usual complain style and for the fact that i hadnt had the time to tweak the code in livejournal as yet.. it looks so sucky! and when i click the "publish" button.. blogspot is down again!! *&#$%#@$!!

Obviously, i forgot to make a copy of the post that i happily typed and there! it's gone forever. Grr.. was too tired then to do anything abt it and headed for bed since everyone had asked me to rest early.

Thanks for all the concern and well wishes by those on my msn list. appreciate it loads!!


-feeling heartwarmed-

anyway, here's the post that i posted on livejournal.. a little lengthy and i've already gotten feedback that i'm obsessed with myself.. haha. well.. to me, it's just looking back at the fragments of my life.. and to serve as a keepsake.. some years later (err, maybe 5?).. i might not be able to remember so much anymore (i heard memory fails with age!).. and this can serve as a reminder..

enjoy!

blogspot down?

just when i finally have the time to blog and am in the mood, blogspot had to be down!

am on MC again today. going to be the MC queen of the whole company already. but, seriously speaking. I'm sick everyday. Sick of work. haha.

was running 38 degrees fever last nite. eyes burning and guess what? i was still singing at K box (lot 1) last nite. knew i had fever, but didnt know it was that serious till i came home and took my temperature.

slept the entire morning away, caught up with all the episodes of the 9pm show that i missed. i know the show is a little lame, but i started watching it coz some scenes of the first episode was filmed at one of my outlets and i was the person who arranged and seek approval for it + the sponsorship for cake. so, i felt i should at least watch it and make sure that there was credits at the end of the show. ha. so, somehow.. i was quite hooked after that.. coz i like one of the female main cast.

headed for the doc in the evening. Had dinner with wei's whole family and got an angpow from his dad. wow.. free meal + angpow = great!

it's anson's bachelor's nite today and wei went gallivanting with the gang. -wonders where they are now-

anyway, im not going to intrude and find out. Hope they enjoy themselves.. haha.. coz, im looking forward to ivy's hens night out. according to the discussions in progress.. it sounds really INTERESTING. i hope wei wont probe since im not probing the bachelor's nite out today. heee..

i think it's really time for bed now.. everyone has been asking me to rest early.. drink loads of water.. and STOP playing with the computer and hang around online.. so much so that i decided to appear offline on msn for a short while so that i can quickly blog and head for bed.

here's the compilation of the photos of my growing up years in the last couple of weeks. took me a long time to go through the photos and figure out which photos belong to which years.. and scanning them in.. adjusting the sizes and making a collage out of it. some years are missing.. and i figured that those are the years when my life is in a mess (family and personal issues), that's y there arent any photos for me to post it here.

a lot of you might be able to relate to some of the photos.. and maybe some of you can even relate to it since the primary schools days. ha ha.. so enjoy.. and leave me some comments!!! (and oh, if some of you finds the photo familiar or you were in it, i'm sorry i had to crop you out.. coz this is about me!! haha..)

complain queen..

it's been a busy weekend last week and a busy start.. i hardly have time to breathe yesterday.. so much work piling up and i'm getting frustrated with everything at work.

the weekend was well spent with Fish Leong's concert on sat nite and chilling out at cosy bay right after. was really tired by the end of the day.. i guess it was due to the fact that i slept really late on friday nite and had to work the next morning. took some photos at the concert.. wont be quite clear, but i'll post it up when i have the time.

sun was spent at sentosa, occupied with beach volley for almost the whole day.. despite the numerous showers of blessing from the clouds above, i felt burnt at the end of the day. headed off to newton for some gorging from my favourite stall, but was really disappointed to find that it's not open! settled for something else instead. was a little upset while i was there.. i dunno what was wrong with wei.. he kept jumping into conclusions and kinda accused me of every little thing. argh.. felt a little pissed but didnt wanna spoil the day.. so i cursed under my breath and pretend to smile..

it was gown shopping after that. bought a gown after trying dozens for almost 2 hours! met pei in daniel yam shop in wisma.. ha, so qiao! didnt get the one that i initially set out for.. was determined to get a white/off white gown but all the designs that i like ran out of sizes.. or no more new pieces.. and the display pieces, the flaws are too obvious to even let me consider buying..

bought a black gown instead and came out of the shop wondering why i bought the gown! i already had a black one back home.. but oh well, this is sweeter.. and of coz, much more expensive!

Oh, i talked to alfie (alphonsus) last nite over msn and realised that the techmexians had a gathering!! i wasn't asked along..(prob. long forgotten.. ha!) but was glad that someone remembered abt me and asked y i wasnt asked along. ha. anyway, saw from sally's bloggie the happenings of the gathering.. wished i was there.. oh well.. told alfie he cannot forget asking me the next time they meet!

okie.. i got to go back to work.. a pile of work waiting for me now.. *sigh*

Depressing world..

one shout from you and my world came tumbling down. u know who u are. a sorry aint worth anything now.

remember what u once told me, think before u open your mouth.

:(

feeling queasy..

[ im hearing | colleague quarrelling on the phone ]

there's this sharp pain in my lower abdomen since this morning. i have no idea what's causing the pain. i hope it is not what i guess it is.

had a late lunch and am now suffering from gastic pains and on top of that, a throbbing headache. my world seemed to spin each time i make a loud action. i guess my blood pressure's pretty low too. argh! it's a friday.. but i cant bring a smile to my face with these queasiness. what's more, the thought of working tomorrow saddens me! sigh.

-takes a deep breath and tries to smile-

it's a slow afternoon and the minutes are just so hard to get by today. wonder why. i'm gonna meet jac for a little shopping later and i'm predicting that she's gonna be late. i hope i'll be wrong. not in mood to roam alone on the streets. will prob explode if i were to wait for her. (the last time we met up, i waited for 2 hrs!)

-waiting for the minutes to pass soon-

low spirits..

here i am blogging away first thing in the morning after my daily ritual of visiting the logistics people before they leave the office. i'm feeling lethargic. it suddenly dawned on me, where have all my hyperactiveness gone to? am i becoming too bored a person? or has the boring job been turning me into a boring person?

i simply have to lug myself to work everyday. each morning, the alarm clock goes off at 7.15am. i'll stop it and head back to bed. then my hp alarm goes off in another 10 mins. i'll snooze it till it's almost 7.45am. i'll sit up in bed and THINK of excuse not to come work. NO EXCUSE TODAY. heaved a big sigh and stumbled to the closet to think of what to wear. struggled to the bathroom but look at my bed longingly.

i hate this feeling. i lost all the enthusiastic feeling of coming to work. i wonder if it's the environment, the things i do or the people here that's making me feel this way. or maybe, it's just everything combined together. i got to spend the next few days.. deciding what i want. i cant let this drag me down. i got to find an escape route somewhere.

i reached the office at almost 9am and this has been going on for some time. no one scolded me, and to tell the truth, i couldnt care less. every evening, i leave the office on the DOT. staying here for a few more minutes irks me so much.

anyway, my company is hiring someone to do accounts. the current person is going for maternity in abt 2 months time. anyone with accounts background, LCCI, ITE certicate can email me for details. those with diploma need not apply, unless u are looking for a temp job. ha. i mean, all the diploma grads prob. wont enjoy working here. (i have my reason for saying this, but dun ask me what.)

I brought my lunch today again. wow! if this goes on, i'll be rich, coz i only spent $1.66 yesterday on transport to and fro from my hse. the thought of this perks me up a little! *grinz*

-imagining myself as a rich kid-

the time has come. i've to move to the seat at the accounts dept. gonna miss my friends on my table for a while.

stoning in the office..

I'm constantly tearing.. as i sit on a blue chair in the accounts department, clearing a box of paperwork.

i have no idea why im so tired and i'm struggling to keep my mind + eyes awake every moment. i'm tearing so much that i'm starting to have a runny nose. looks like i'm sick, with a tisse in hand and looking lethargic.

i was telling pei abt the collage on wakeboarding and i realised that there were actually more photos.. i was supposed to do another collage on the rest of the photos.. but somehow.. they slipped my mind.. i guess i was too tired last nite.. was so happy when i finished that collage that i loaded it up, did a quick blog and shut the computer down.

started doing my jap homework on my bed last nite and it was only less than 5 questions that i started snoozing. argh.

i totally agree with weiyi. If only, humans need not sleep.

tired but happy..

[ i'm feeling | pampered ]

it's a long day. work, yoga classes, dinner + tv at home, and staring at the com for hours. feeling sleepy but am happy.

pampered myself with a long shower.. full body scrub, facial scrub + mask.. emerged feeling fresh and clean! slapped with dry skin with loads of white moisturizer and the day seems to just get better!

alrighty, i'm finally done with the wakeboarding pics. a little late compared to my expected schedule due to an unexpected hiccup. came home yesterday and couldn't log into my computer after i put it in hibernation the day before. had to reboot.. and gawd.. all my resized pictures are gone!! (u can start imagining how pissed i was..)

here's the photos that i promised. i think belle cant wait to get her eyes on it.. hee..



there are a couple of things that i need to do in the next 10 days..
1. get a manicure + pedicure next week..
2. shop for a evening gown.. (for a wedding at shangri la next weekend)
3. sign up for intermediate hartha yoga class..
4. start studying for jap exam.. (i just realised it's a month away!)
5. meet michie + jac to collect my shoes and give jac her eye gel..