a search for character.. seeking meaning of life.. losing naivete in the process..

happy girl..

[ feeling | slight aching body but glad ]
[ im hearing | silence of a night ]
[ im needing | water parade ]

i had a great weekend. nothing spectacular happened, but it was fun nonetheless. it started with dinner @ orchard with yt, lester + jac.. hunted ard for a makan place and crapped for a long time.. shifted to a coffee place when sakae closed. ran out of cork since everyone seemed tired. lester headed home alone first, and yt decided to hit the arcade for some destressing. we joined him, and left with red painful hands. jac + me almost headed for ms, but ended up in karaoke with yt after much strolling.

dar came along to partyworld. poor boi, he's so tired that he slept soundly for 2 hrs in the karaoke room. when we hit home at near dawn, we collapsed in bed immediately.

slept 2/3 of sat away, had dinner and played number ball at occ. met randy and kah hui there. they were playing pool with a sweet girl (wonder who's gf it is). supper was a feast at my favourite stall in newton. its yet another late night out.

struggled to wake at 9am on a sunday morning. washed up and prepared for the exciting day ahead. had a light breakfast, fetched pei from amk mrt station and hit the roads to raffles marina where the wakeboarding session begins!

had fun, laughing.. enjoying. the only bad thing was my motion sickness. almost puked into the sea several times. i took loads of photos of everyone.. wakeboarding in action. BUT, i came home only to realise.. NO ONE took a single shot of me while i wakeboarded. NOT EVEN ONE. *sigh* feeling a slight disappointment but there's nothing i can do abt it. it's already over [full stop] *pouting*

watched white noise at bishan before heading back to dar's hse. hit the pillows the moment i got there. super tired with the lack of sleep.

supper at casuarina prata shop and it's home to start a brand new week.

loaded the wakeboarding photos into my com and had then resized already. but for the moment, i simply have no more strength to do a collage of it.

Oops. japanese class tomorrow, but my homework's undone.

- pulls hairs -

livejournal journal..

i was asking mich about something in livejournal and i tried it on my livejournal and it now looks super screwed!! *fainting*

busy day in office.. i hardly had time msn/blog/surf.. my office phone line is down.. and that means i got to walk cubicles away to JUST make a call.. can u picture how busy i am? *sigh*

enjoyed lunch for once in a long while and now, i got my favourite iced milk tea to accompany me at work. hopefully my day can only get better.

-trying not to think abt the fine i paid-

random thots of the day..

i'm really tired.. i'll make a couple of comments and i'll leave.

1. as i expected, my previous blog entry has affected someone. sigh.

2. got a hell of a kick outa playing snooker with toto @ safra. won 5 out of 6. a super rare occasion with a super sharp shooter.

3. as unlucky as i dunno what..i got slammed with a $150 fine and 6 demerit points for speeding. wei just called and told me abt while i was playing snooker. and yes.. its me.. at tuas area one day while i was rushing to wakeboard. it could only be me. *sobbing at the hole in my pocket* damn! there werent any cameras ard! anyone wanna donate to cherie's speeding fine fund?

4. despite this being a really short work week for me.. im dreading work more than ever! i hate to say this.. but i hate going to work now. everything just irks me!

5. time to head for bed. hopefully everything that's happening in reality will just become a dream.

blowing up like a hot air balloon

came home feeling better and trying to get some peace for myself. studied a little of jap and was feeling fine when all of a sudden.. my mum made a comment when my brother came home..

she went (shouting),"you si xing xie. ni men huh, BU YAO YI ZHI GENG WO MAI XING XIE!" in a really accusing manner (and i was the only person left in the living room & bro's already in his room with the door shut). in that very instance, i feel a wave of heat rising in me. i hate being accused, especially since i wasn't the one who bought the shoes.. and she was facing me shouting out aloud. how many times do i have to tell her that she SHOULD NOT ACCUSE ME when i didnt do anything wrong? Why cant she just keep it to scolding my brother? why must she shout? why cant she use a nice tone and comment instead? why must she ALWAYS address us together?

-fuming-

i mean, i tried explaining to her many times that when i'm not the one that committed the act/crime, don't accuse me. I DON'T LIKE TO BE ACCUSED. so u can imagine how mad i am. did i mentioned that i hate being shouted at to? i cant express how much i LOATHE it.

now she's slamming the remote controls and that makes me madder.

what a spoiler. sometimes, i just don't understand why my family is the way it is. Why doesnt my mum learn to communicate? why cant we communicate? why did my family turn out to be the way it is.. was it b'coz something went wrong earlier while i was younger? and that my generation now has to bear the consequences?

i'm beginning to think my mum is such a sore person. i hardly see her happy. grumpy all day, and complain all day. someone should teach her to let go and learn to be happy.

i wish i am hermione (harry potter character) in this instant. shift my computer into my room with a wave of magic to escape into the soothing atmosphere of my room. escape reality.

anyway, i was talking to a fren from states this evening when he made a comment abt one of my fren's blog. He gave me a whole new perspective from the things he said and i appreciate it loads. Interesting perception that i was blinded of. I don't know if i should say this here. could affect quite a number of people.. but what the heck, this is MINE blog. shall write what i deem fit.

someone, batantly expressed his love for me on his blog and i didnt REALISE it till my friend told me. duhz. someone that i know for a long while, but just felt that there's no chemisty. i felt awkward.. and became panicky.. and wondered abt wei's feelings and if i should do anything to avoid the chance of him chancing that blog. was rattling off my tots to my fren till he told me to calm down and relax. and that i should feel happy knowing that there's someone out there.. loving me. and that i shouldnt worry too much, coz if my boy sees the blog, he'll feel proud. will he? Hmm.. *smiles*

suddenly made me feel like a worrying wart. well..it seems, all is well and fine..

[ all names are left out to preserve confidentiality. if u wanna kpo, find out on your own means. =P ]

feeling down..

[ current mood | feeling pissed ]

my eyes hurts like hell. it seems to be telling me that it's on strike. no matter how hard i blink, it hurts and i cant see properly.

I'm getting work blues. i shouted at someone at work. i dun give a damn anymore. no more nicey nicey cherie when all the work is targetted at me. your work means ur work and mine is mine. i'm gonna draw lines and build walls around myself.

had a sucky lunch. yucks. i wonder how's dar coping with his exam today.. havent heard from him as yet.

my work desk is in a complete mess. I'm trying to sort out documents. took a photo.. will try to load it at home if my mood gets better.

- pouts -

my only solace now is to read weiyi's blog. super entertaining.

long weekend..

everyone's week prob started 2 days ago.. mine is going to start later. cool? well, i'm a female, and i get 2 days mc for menstrual cramps. envy?

i guess there are just some perks being the feminine species. what a trade off for pain.

i headed for yoga class despite being alone. wenjing had work to clear coz she's gonna go to bangkok for the rest of the week till next monday. shuyu had a headache and decided she's aint gonna attend. i decided to head for it alone. i paid money and i'm gonna make it worth every single penny that i paid. =)

the usual teacher was nowhere in sight and another came in place. a more senior one i guess. she taught a lot more positions, tougher positions. it's great in a way, stretched my muscles + penny more. ha.

i'm gonna start watching japanese cartoons.. in aid of my japanese learning. so, i made a resolution to myself that i'll watch the cartoons at least 3 times a week. thank god i got a brother who's such a fan that i wont need to worry where to find those cartoons.

no one's online on my msn list. where has everyone gone? i wonder how's michie coping in bangkok. keep checking her blog for news of her. i'm missing you mich, if you are reading this..

i dread heading for work. im thinking of tendering my resignation. should i? wei asked me to give myself a time frame, should the situation not improve.. i should get out. i have to give 2 months notice.. so how long more should i hang on still? i wish someone could give me an answer. im so lost.

i guess its time for bed. i got to wake early tomorrow. seems like a long time since i last woke early. =P

i'm so excited abt sunday!! i'm gonna go wakeboarding with pei again! Woohooo!!

-jumps around-

on medical leave..

sometimes i wonder why i have to be a female. i decided to be on medical leave today.

i cringed in bed the whole of last nite.. drifting in and out of sleep. hardly slept a wink. beads of perspiration filled my brow in an air-conditioned room. constantly rolling in bed to find a comfortable position to lie it. i felt like i was dying.

menstrual cramps. i hate you.

am very tempted to pop the pink pills to ease the pain.. but, no. i have relied on them way too much. this morning at 9am, they are still lingering around, so i decided to stay home.

i feel lethargic. time to revise my jap again.

tiring tiring..

boy. i'm like a baby, constantly needing sleep. not to mention that i met 2 over the weekend, or rather 1 + 1/2.

was out really late on friday nite. had dinner and karaoke with the girls and i popped down ms to meet raphael and gang.. chilled out for a while a eastside and they decided to hit mdm wong. *eyes open wide*

haha.. i cant even remember when was the last time i stepped inside.. ages ago definitely. as usual, crowded like shit. it's closing time before i knew it.. was hungry and headed for supper before flagging a cab home. met janice at the kopitiam! am always glad to see her..

snoozed at around 5.30am and u can imagine what i felt when i woke at 8.30am! was late for an hr at work..

struggled the day thru, came home, napped for 2 hrs and headed off to samantha's hse at choa chu kang. it's JASON's full month! met up with ms chong!! gawd.. havent seen her for ages! and the most-heard-abt joelle.. whom was a ex-employee of atc.. finally know how she looks like now.. hee.

met all the kids of joseph, kin, freddie.. and the wives of kin, freddie.. interesting. biggest gathering of atc i would say..

headed off to dar hse after the event and was so tired that i slept while trying to read my cleo mag.

i decided against sentosa on sunday morning coz was simply too tired, and i got invited to yet another birthday party. this time, chiew yen's daughter.. 1st bday!

by the time i got back to dar's house.. im so tired and fell asleep once more. i cant remember what time i woke, but i went to have dinner and then its home sweet home.

time to practise my jap..

21 things abt my bedroom..

to curb my sleeping spell.. i've decided to keep myself occupied with doing quizzes.. a little boliao tho.

21 things abt my room..

1. What's the color of your bedroom walls?
should be white.. but it's a little greyish now. Haven't done any painting since i was a kid.

2. What's inside your closet?
which one u refering to? clothes clothes and more clothes! what else to put in there?

3. Do you have a carpet or hardwood floor?
marble flooring...always cool and nice

4. What kind of pictures or stuff are on the walls?
nothing. only a huge white board that i used to have a photo collage..

05. Is your computer in the bedroom?
I wish it was.. i'll never step out of my room anymore..

06. Did you make your bed today?
no such habit nowadays (used to do it when i was MUCH younger), but dun see the point since its always messed it up the moment i come home anyway..

07. Are your clothes all over the place?
depends.. if im rushing out of the hse, yes. when im deciding what to wear, yes. all over my bed i meant. in normal circumstances, no

08. What does ur bed luk like?
how else can a bed look like? a mattress on top of a plank. a queen sized mattress that is.

09. When you walk in the bedroom what's the first thing you smell?
a sense of familiarity.. a place where i snuggle..

10. Do you have a tv in your room?
used to, but i found it missing one day after i came home. It mysteriously went to my brother's room.. not much of loss since i hardly watch..

11. Are there any full-length mirrors?
yes.. the doors to my bathroom are mirrors..

12. What's on the table next to the bed?
Hmmm..table on right or left? dressing table or study table? okie.. here's the stuff on dressing table.. piggy banks.. nail polish.. perfume.. hair styling products.. facial care products..talcum powder.. hair clips/bands/pins.. watches.. some coins..

13. What's in the drawer of the table next to the bed?
some rubbish that doesnt belong to me..

14. What covers the windows? Curtains or mini blinds?
curtains.. but its eventually covered by my bags!!

15. What's piled up under your bed?
nothing can be put there.. prob. dust & my hairs..

16. What color is your bed?
white wooden bed..

17. Are the lights bright or dim in the room?
depends on which light i decide to switch on. can be adjusted according to my mood.. romantic eh?

18. Do you use a little plug in night light?
no..

19. Do you have aircon in your room?
yes yes.. i'll die without it..

20. Do you drink or smoke in your bedroom?
i dun smoke and i'll kill anyone that smokes in my room.. but i drink tho.. water bucket mah..

21. The most eye catching item in the room?
it has to be boi boi.. he's the first thing i look for the moment i get home and step into my room.. (he's my dear orangey doggie plush)

Wooo hoo... finally finished. seems like i have taken a long time to complete this.. almost knocking off time.. got to pack my stuff... :P

snoozing after lunchtime..

i startled. looked around seeing the familiar surroundings and class 95 playing on my 6610. wondered if anyone discovered that i fell asleep for the past 30 mins or so.

- head spinning -

i'm getting so sick and "bored" of the job. did i mentioned that i now have to help out the accounting department for clearing paperwork and data entry? How great rite? I'm a super multi-tasking heroess. I'm pretty good for every department. How's abt the COO's office someday huh? *grinz*

konked out the moment i reached home yesterday. freaking tired. had a date with allen at nite to play snooker and had to drag myself out of the bed for the date. daisie came along together with allen's cousin and cousin's couple friend.

Bro, if you ever read this.. I can finally say "yeah! i've BEATEN you!" no more "nearly" huh.. but well.. its hasn't got to do with my skills.. its hasnt improved since the last time we played.. it's has to do with allen.. he hasnt been playing, but i still think you are good. It has to do with practising. *grinz*

played on an empty stomach and was super hungry and finally headed for dinner at midnight. had a funny conversation with all of them. pretty cool. the couple are from presbyterian.. cant really remember them tho. my juniors. :P

hitched a ride from allen and headed home. tried to blog but no inspiration. wanted to play a game but it expired. talked to dar for a short while and headed to dreamland.

was drifting in and out of sleep. finally woke at 8.15am and my tee was soak with perspiration in an air conditioned room. gawd. i felt lethargic. sat on bed stoned for 5 mins deciding if i should work today. must have been an unlucky day. i jumped into the showers only to feel so much to be back in bed. determined to take a cab to work, but didnt spot any on 20 mins that i was waiting. took a bus instead. must be heaven's will - be thrifty. :P

i wish 5.30pm will reach soon. i cant stand this silent office anymore. the silence is engulfing me, putting me in a sleepy spell.

looking forward to fish head steamboat tonight with the girls.

Personality Test..

poh chuan sent me this personality test via email earlier on and i tried it out just for the fun of it..

Here's the test results:

You are the grass-frangrance type

You have very strong will, not dependent on others and gives an impression of being a lone-ranger. You are extremely curious and sensual, living a clear-headed, modern life. At first glance you place yourself on a pedestal, and are difficult to get along. But once others talk to you, they know you are easy going. And when the relationship develops, they realise you are affable. You have an androgynous charm, which makes you popular with all genders. But you don't like your weak side to be seen. You might look cool on the surface, but beneath it all, you are really passionate. Only people who know your true self can maintain a long-lasting relationship with you.

what do you people think? does it really describes me well? com'on, shoot some comments!

Sentosa anyone?

I might be heading for sentosa this sunday morning.. anyone interested? Beep me k?

Okie.. gotta run! late for class already!

exhuastion..

It's been a long time since i last post some pictures. i seemed to be exhausted every night when i come home.. im feeling heaty now.. and i know.. once again.. that im getting sick..

anyway, it's gonna be jason's 1 month in a couple of days and here are some of the photos i took during my last visiting session at samantha's house..



i was filled with regret that i didnt bring along my memory cards to msia.. had to rely on my uncle's cammies to take pictures.. and guess what? they forgot to burn the photos on a cd for me and now, the nearest uncle is at least 300+km away from me and the other, thousands + thousands kms away, at the other end of the globe. With the amount of photos taken, there's no way they are gonna spend time sending me the files one by one.. I'll have to wait till my uncle loads them on his server for me to download at my own pace.

anyway, here are some of the photos that i took with my cammie phone. couldnt take a lot, coz my memory card is full.. anyone wanna sponser a 256mb one for me? *grinz*



it's time for bed.. my eyes are shutting and i have a long day tomorrow.. it's yoga classes again!

- must remember to bring harry potter book for shuyu -

nite frens..

Gambler in action..

Since the day i got.. I put on my black robe and started gambling everywhere i go! win some lose some more.. but it's just for the fun of it. think i win more than i lost.. but incurred bad debts in the process.. so.. just take it as i lost more huh..

it's fun having to gather around friends and laugh the day away.. time really passes when one's enjoying.. It's kinda sad that i have to head back for work in 2 days' time after being on leave for 3 days + public holidays..

Met Cheng Chieh + Mei Fen on thursday for a short while together with shannon, moses, derek and chee keong. They came to singapore quietly without anyone's knowledge (according to shannon) and am leaving on friday morning. It's nice having to catch them even for a short while.. It's almost 10 years since i last met mei fen.. and as for cheng chieh.. he's fatter and seemed to have shrink in size.. (haha, i think i grew bigger.. that's y)

I wonder what i am going to do today. Nothing in mind, but i know i'll be gambling at someone's house later. i'm hungry.. am waiting for pig to wake so that i can go grab a bite. Alrighty.. need to get myself freshen up.. put on my gambler's robe and head for some kicking ass action!

Anyone missing my presence? Beep me!!

Back in Sing!

i'm finally on singapore soil! *yipee*

im itching all over.. thanks to the mosquitoes that i have fed in the last 2 days. i got so many love bites from them that my legs + hands look as if they have got chickenpox.

*tired*

im gonna rest a while and start popping out of the house soon! :)

ring me!! ring me!!

looking forward to stepping on singapore soil

the time for me to leave rengam is approaching.. and as usual.. im always thrilled to head back home. not that i don't like coming here (it's always nice to interact with my uncles and other family members), but its a tad too bored coz there's nothing to do here! im sure im feeling normal, coz im not the only person thinking this way.. hee

i think the food here is the best consolation that i have. i get to eat sharks fin at every single meal and in between meals as snack too.. luxurious rite? *drool*

spent the last 2 days here playing as much solitaire as i can, talking to whoever is on msn.. really appreciate it man.. those who talked to me + play minesweeper.. watched a couple of dvds.. and played dance revolution on ps2. haha.. cranky rite? but i guess it's quite an entertainment when there's really nothing better to do.

it's almost time for bed. got to wake in 5 hours and eat breakfast + catch the morning train back home..

i miss my bed and my friends.. i received so many smses.. but do pardon me for not replying. its actually much much cheaper for me to call than to sms..

okie.. time to pack and head for bed.. goodbye rengam..

adsl in rengam!

[current reading | are you afraid of the dark by sidney sheldon]

for the first time in my life.. i'm quite thrilled to be seated in front of the computer here in rengam. My uncle has just installed adsl here and it means a much much faster internet connection as compared to the 56k modem that my grandpa has been using for years.

It also means that i can get to blog quite often and be online on msn. I'm kinda bored here.. nothing much to do.. weather is hot and i feel uncomfortable in every corner of the house im in..

am now waiting for the dinner spread to be prepared and then its reunion dinner. did a super dumb thing today. i brought along my sony camera, but in the rush of packing, i left out all the memory cards for the camera. now, i have camera but no memory cards. how dumb can one get rite? *frustrated with myself*

met up with raphael for shopping in town and dinner on sunday and spent the much of the whole monday in a salon with daisie while she's doing her rebonding! i sat there and finished up the book that my aunt borrowed for me. left daisie at 6+ after allen popped by to fetch her.. i headed for jap class and was late and had to gobble down my dinner in 10mins.. hee..

by the time i got into class.. im so tired that im was like snoozing in there. after the class, rushed to meet allen to collect my pineapple tarts that i asked him to help me collect.. Hee, thanks so much allen + daisie! after that, popped to geylang for the yearly reunion dinner with wei's frens.. was so tired that i think i can sleep on the table and it was karaoke after that..

it's almost 6am in the morning by the time i got home, surfed a bit of net and concussed immediately after. was supposed to head for rengam at 8+, and i didnt pack, so can u imagine how dishevelled i was when i woke? pack, bathe, clean up my room a little, settle some stuff on my com.. and then rushed downstairs to my waiting uncles and aunt. *oops*

then its the usual journey up north and the usual shopping spree at holiday plaza..

Oops.. i got to take a quick bath before the dinner.. im so sticky and the weather's killing me. :(

got to go.. will blog later if i have the time or when im bored! *poof*

Happy new year singapore!

the time has come for me to go.. bye to all my friends. please miss me!

Wish all of you a great chinese new year.. i'll try to escape back as soon as i can..

heavy mood..

was out at safra yishun with david earlier for a session for billard.. been ages since i last played with him.. anyway, its been a long time since i last played too.. getting rusty.

took a 20min slow stroll back home. came home with a heavy heart. disappointment. i cant figure out if im sad. im confused.

argh! im on leave for the whole of next week. but, its gonna look like a long week for me.

i need some help seriously. i wish.. i could just disappear away from this world.

what's stress when one can enjoy meals? what's time when one's out? what's promises when they are broken?

dammit. today sucks big time!

fuck it. I wish i could turn my back on this world.

Yawns..

Im super tired today! despite the lack of sleep for the last few days, i know i should head for bed early.. but i just cant.. sometimes.. there are many things in life that is beyond our control..

here's what happenend yesterday.. i headed for retail therapy last nite with jac.. swipe swipe and swipe.. gawd.. bought 3 3/4 pants, 1 long pants, a couple of tops.. and some other stuff.. spent at least 250 bucks man! but.. i wanted to buy more.. just didnt have the time.

headed home @ 11.40pm, was in a daze and missed my train stop! what the hell was i thinking!?!

aunt + uncle came from the states today, and uncle from KL came to fetch them.. so my house is having a big party.. loads of talking, eating, shouting.. gave up my room to my uncle.. took my boi + ger and headed to mum's room and slept at 4+.. at around 7, the alarm clock pisses the hell out of me. struggled like a drunkard, walking around the house trying to find my balance.

aching body. suxs.

at work. super suxs.

i want to sleep! have decided to head straight home to sleep today after work.. then hopefully can meet toto for a game, or someone else to head for more retail therapy.

wanting to upload the stuff i bought, but another day la huh.. *yawns*

Bored..

i was surfing and looking for a song link so that i can link it to my blog.. cant seemed to have any luck looking for the song i wanted.. :( anyone wanna offer me some help? I want the song - Baby, dont you break my heart slow..

Anyway, am really bored now. nothing much i have to do. my work's all jammed up but cant proceed due to some minor hiccups. surfed around and came across another of those boliao quiz for me to do..

1)Name the last four things you have bought:
a pair of shoes from bata, egg mcmuffin, iced milo, porriage for lunch

2) Name four drinks you regularly drink:
green tea, plain water, iced lemon tea, iced milk tea

3) Name school friends who are usually with you:
michie, shuyu, wenjing, jac (rest of them dun see as often)

4) Name five important things in your life:
computer, money, friends, handphone, fun

5) Last time you cried?
2 days ago..

6) Missing?
my bed as usual.. im like a zombie..

7) What's In your CD player?
havent heard anything out of it for a long time.. i think the last one was stefanie's sun - the moments (everything else is in wei's car!)

8) What's under your bed?
Nothing. dust and dust and more dust?

9)What time did you wake up today?
7.45am, late for work.. took a cab!

10) Current hair?
nerdy + messy

11) Current time?
2.34pm

12) Current desktop picture?
This picture sent to me by mich that says "I think i need to talk to you"


13) Current worry?
is it really time to look for a new job?

14) Current hate?
nothing.. green pepper i think.. cant think..

15) Favorite places to be?
seaside/beach, snooker salons, shopping malls, movie theatres, overseas..

16)Least Favorite Places?
noisy places.. gives me a headache..

17) If you could play an instrument, what would it be?
piano!! my childhood dream..

18) Favorite color(s)?
PINK!!! okie.. like red, white, black and loud colors as well..

19) How tall are you?
1.61m short.

20): Favorite expression/s?:
pouting face.

21) One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to:
har? *thinking* *grinning* *cheeky look* not saying. =x

22)Favorite day(s)?:
none. everyday is so busy.. would love sat if i didnt have to work.

23) Where would you like to go?:
for now, europe! but i always welcome japan or hong kong..

24) Where do you want to live when you get married?:
do i have a choice.. states would be nice.. but i think i dont have the chance to leave singapore..

25) Favorite food/s?
ice cream + sweets + chocolate + snacks & "farm chicken porriage"!

26) Colors of most clothes you own:
white, khaki, red, pink + black

27) Number of pillows you sleep w/:
2

28) What do you wear when you go to sleep:
tee + fbt shorts

29) What were you doing last night:
msning at home till 2 am + playing minesweeper..

30) What are you listening to right now:
nuthin... still tired..

31) What do you think you'll be doing in 10 years:
mother of 2, chasing + spanking my kids. haha.. really clueless.

32) Do you have braces?
Now? nope. retainer yes.. wear them like once in 2-3 weeks.. hahaha..

33)Are you paranoid?
At times

34) What is the brand of your wallet?
ozozo, eh, this qn v. familiar..

35) Your alarm clock?
turquoise rectangle clock + handphone.. hard to wake me..

36) Your perfume?
eh, familiar also.. (please refer the blog entries below)

37) Your bag?
bagS you mean.. see for yourself at the pic below..

38) Your notebook?
Dun own one, anyone wants to donate.. have loads of those that i can write in tho.

39)First real memory?
I fell from a tree at age of 3+, but never stopped me from climbing n climbing still..

40) First screen name?
eh, cant remember! SiaoCharBor? *thinks hard*

41) First piercing/tattoo?
wah.. got to ask my mum. think 4. i still remember the experience..

42) First enemy?
dunno. eh..my brother! fight n fight all day n nite..

43) First good cry?:
3rd august 1980

44) Last library book checked out?
cant remember.. some snooker book i think..

45) Last person you yelled at?
my mum.. caught me in bad mood

46) Last beverage drank?
plain water

47) Last crush?:
*keeping mum*

48) Last CD/song played?:
Somebody - depeche mode

49) Last thing you ate?
cuttlefish strips

50) Last annoyance?
causeway point - nothing for me to buy!

51)Last disappointment?:
too much disappointment to remember..

52) Last thing you wrote?
the sentence above!! duhz!

53) Last words spoken?
something abt the milk that my colleague left in the company fridge..

therapy = frustration..

I enthusiastically headed for retail therapy but ending up not finding anything to buy.. i desperately wanted to buy something.. for chinese new year.. i dun have anything to wear! so i end up feeling more frustrated than before i set out for..

was there really nothing for me to buy or was i not in the mood to see things? I dunno.. i just wanna spend money.. but i didnt manage to do it..

back home.. its weird. i felt a little better and decided to do something that i said i wont. somehow.. i just felt like doing it.. i made a call.. and it made me feel a little better. :)

alrighty.. im heading for bed.. i can feel my fingers heating up.. that's a sign that my body is getting heaty..

Good nite to all.. im gonna hug my boi to bed.

roller coaster ride..

I'm on a emotional roller coaster ride.. one min im happy and the next min im down..

i frown at something and am laughing at something else the next moment.

Thanks to all those that have expressed concern, esp to wj for the roses on msn..

it's now time.. for retail THERAPY!!

Lonely journey to work..

Heard this song the moment i came out of the bathroom this morning. Used to be one of the songs that i really like..but this morning.. it gave me a whole new perspective as i listen to it..

我竟然没有调头 最残忍那一刻静静看你走
一点都不像我 原来人会变得温柔是透澈的懂了
爱情是流动的 不由人的何必激动着 要理由相信你
只是怕伤害我 不是骗我很爱过谁会舍得把我的梦摇醒了
宣布幸福不会来了 用心酸微笑去原谅了
也翻越了有昨天还是好的
但明天是自己的开始懂了 快乐是选择
(开始懂了 - Stefanie Sun)

I was late for work. Didnt feel like working and my body just refused to budge when im supposed to wake.. laid there staring at the ceiling till i had i drag myself out of bed..

On the bus ride to work.. i heard yet another of my favourite song.. this time, it kinda saddens me. reminded me of many things..

here, i dedicate this song to you (hamster).. if u happen to read my blog..

彷佛上一分钟 你还陪在我左右
还以为我们会开花结果
我还记得玫瑰色天空 却模糊了我们的脸孔
哼过的歌到底有什么内容

* 彷佛已经自由 下一刻我变成风
吹过你的领空 差点失控 回忆在夜里闹得很凶
我想我可以明白你所有的痛
想让你知道我懂 却担心言不由衷

# 我们都接受 一定是彼此不够成熟
在爱情里分不了轻重
诚实得过了头 不能退后也无法向前走
爱是一个自私的念头 把寂寞消除的理由
剩下的那些感动 能记得多久
(接受 - Fish Leong)

I'm starting my day with a sad morning.. hopefully it can only get better. *smile*

All alone for now..

I'm all alone for now. not sure if i should welcome the change. im neither very happy or very sad. i feel lost. Maybe it's an opportunity to pack my emotions and really decide what i really want..

i have a lot of questions that i want to ask.. but cant find the right time and opportunity to ask. There are many doubts that i have, but no chance for me to clarify.. they are all bursting within me.. tormenting me every day. i wish someone would lead the way.

my eyes are swollen, i cant see properly.. my vision is clouded and im irritated. everything seems down.. but i see sparks here and there.. coming from people who are trying to put a smile on my face. It's like fireworks, it's only for a short while and everything then turns dark again.

Yawning.. + the Truth Please

Im so sleepy! How clever of me to have slept only a total of 8 hours in the last 2 nights!! Im fighting the "Z" monster here in the office.. and am surfing the net to keep myself awake. Went to friendster to add my cousin and saw this and decided to give it a try.. just so that i'll be awake!

The truth pls

*Honestly, where ya at?
- office...

* Honestly, have you ever had a plastic surgery?:
- do i need one? i think i'm pretty enough.. haha..

* Honestly, have you ever failed a subject at school?:
- loads! maths, history, geography, literature, chinese, home econs.. bla bla bla. I happened to be quite dumb.

* Honestly, what's on your mind?:
- my doggie.. my bed.. sleep..

* Honestly, who are you chatting online with?:
- no one, last spoke to "Last Instinct"..

* Honestly, what is it that you REALLY should be doing right now?:
- work.. can't u tell im eating snake?

* Honestly, have you brushed your teeth today?:
- of coz! if not how to come out.. eeks!

* Honestly, who is the hottest person you know?:
- i dun go around feeling people's temperature ya know? Hmm.. no one in mind.

* Honestly, are you a good friend?:
- oh yeah.. im a "good fren" of pei.. but i think im not good enough. define good?

* Honestly, do you really think going to school is all that important?:
- yeah of coz. in spore, no paper = hard to find money (but that doesnt mean u need to have good grades.. hee)

* Honestly, what are your dreams about mostly?:
- i dun sleep enough to dream.. :(

* Are you HONESTLY single?:
- single? do i look like a double? haha.. i'm not.. firmly attached..

* Honestly, what are you so happy about right now?
- nothing pleases me as yet. but im always thrilled if u say im pretty.. haha

* Honestly, what are you so sad about right now?:
- my life, my job.. im trying to get it straight!

* Honestly, who are you missing?:
- a lot of people.. must i name them all?

* Honestly, have you ever stole something?:
- do i look like im a thief? of coz i stole! stole glances of handsome guys.. hee..

* Honestly, what song are you listening to right now?
- huh? i dunno leh.. class 95.. dunno what song.. i wish it was summer rain.. :)

* Honestly, who do you want to meet at this very moment?
- Cai Sheng Ye!! Ho Ho Ho.. gimme money..

* Honestly, where do you like to be kissed?:
- forehead

* Honestly, do you have a deadly disease?:
- heart problem.. is that deadly enough? i dunno when i'll die..

* Honestly, do you hate someone right now?
- hate? not anyone in particular.. but pretty annoyed with a couple of them...

* Honestly, who do you wanna hug right now?
- no one.. i wanna hug boi boi + my bolster and sleep!

* Honestly, are you bored?
- no. very tired. bored only when i take public transport..

* Honestly, who do you wanna slap right now?
- myself.. coz im really tired and wanna sleep!

Tiring but fulfilling..

rushed to school after work, but had time to spare for dinner tho.. then classes was quite intensive as there were only 5 of us today.. it wasnt before long before its my turn to read.. and i realised something that the teacher liked to do! he liked to asked me to read the notes out aloud and then he explain after i finished reading! and i havent seen anyone do that other than me!! *puzzled*

anyway, class went past quickly coz it was intensive.. headed back home, changed and headed for a funeral. Simon's (my super long fren since dinosaur time - primary 1) father passed away.. i havent been really close to him, but im glad that i went today.. got to talk to a couple of people who i aint so close to back in school.. and i met pei!! yeah!! miss her so much man.. so hard to see her.. :)

am so tired now. eyes closing. anyway, before the eyes shut the world out.. here's some of the photos taken some time back but i havent had time to upload..

took this while spring cleaning over the last weekend.. here's PART my collection of bags.. these are the words to describe it.. massive.. enormous.. humongous. do tell me if you have frens who have more bags than me, i'll like to meet the person.



here are the photos that i took before samantha left for maternity leave. didnt had many.. she's quite reluctant to take photos with her massive weight.. but it's now NO MORE!



okie.. time for bed.. i wanna be in dreamland right now.. hopefully can dream of water.. calm surroundings..

Oh! got to pack for yoga tomorrow! *faint*